Saturday, December 29, 2007

2 Games, 2 States, 22 Hours...

When the NFL season was released in May, I combed through the Baltimore Ravens schedule to see if there were any interesting matchups worth going to. I saw that they had a Monday night game against the New England Patriots (which I did my live webcast to and which also turned out to be the most entertaining game of the entire 2007 NFL season). I also saw that they hosted the Colts the following week on Sunday Night Football.

Although the Pats game seemed tempting at the time (little did I know that the Pats would be the first team to ever go 16-0), I didn't feel like watching Tom Brady, and I wasn't sure if I wanted to travel all the way back to the East Coast (especially in December).

So, I checked out the road games and saw that the Ravens were playing the AFC and NFC West schedules (the first time they did that trip since the 2003 season when I was a PR intern with the team). I saw that they played at the San Francisco 49ers over Columbus Day weekend (a snoozer 9-7 game that I didn't go to because of my sister's wedding), at San Diego over Thanksgiving weekend (in what turned out to be a blowout victory for the Chargers) and finally at Seattle over Christmas weekend.

sorry just got interrupted by my boss while at work typing this entry... ok back to the good stuff...

Columbus Day passed and my sister got married... Thanksgiving went by but I chose to go to the Utah vs. BYU game (good choice). And then something happened..... BYU got the invite to their third consecutive Las Vegas Bowl. The game happened to fall the day before the Ravens vs. Seahawks game.

I started to get curious... I found out my friend Scott was going to the BYU Bowl game and he was willing to let me tag along with him and his bros (thanks again Scott). Then I found a flight only a few hours after the BYU game from Las Vegas to Seattle for $99 (thanks again Southwest). My dad was willing to meet me in Seattle to attend the Ravens game with me (his first ever NFL game!).

Friday morning: I was only going to go to a half day at my boring bank job. I woke up and there was snow everywhere. I was going to call in for the entire day to avoid driving in the snow. Then I decided to be responsible and go to work anyway (way to go retard) and ended up sliding down a slippery snow covered hill and colliding with a parked car. So my decision to work cost me a $500 deductible. Yikes, I guess I'll have to back to my slacker ways (like typing this at work).

Friday evening: Load up the car with Scott and bros and drive down to Vegas. I rode the back seat middle, yeah that's right, I rode the hump for 5 hours. I am still amazed I can still walk. I thought I'd never feel my legs again...

Saturday morning: Wake up in Mesquite, NV and eat a ginormous breakfast buffet at a casino.

Saturday afternoon: We got to the game two hours early because Sam Boyd stadium is the worst parking lot situation of all time. It seats 40,000 people and there is only one road in, and one road out. We went to some stuff set up for fans and alumni to look at before the game, but really it was just a bunch of lame tents with lame food and no entertainment and I was wishing that I had purchased the hacky sack I had eyed in the gas station the night before.

Saturday evening: I had my friend put down $20 on BYU to cover a seven-point spread. I figured BYU had won 10 straight games, UCLA was 6-6 and had no QB, and an interim head coach so it was a lock. Lesson learned: Never bet on BYU football. At the end of the first half, a coaching blunder cost BYU a 17-6 lead to a mere 17-13 lead. UCLA kicked a field goal to cut BYU's lead to 17-16 in the 4th quarter. There goes my 20 bucks. Sure enough, UCLA got the ball back with two minutes to go and 92 yards to the endzone and they drive it down to the BYU 10-yard line with 3 seconds left on the clock. I thought to myself: great, I rode the hump for six hours, paid 100 bucks for this game to sit on a cold bleacher to re-numb my rear, and BYU is going to lose it in true Cougar fashion once again. Ball is snapped, BYU BLOCKS THE KICK, game over! Cougs win!!!

Never had I gone from such a low to such a high. It was an even bigger swing than back in 8th grade when Kelly decided she wouldn't "go out" with me then changed her mind by the end of lunch period.

Saturday night: Couldn't sleep because I was too afraid to fall asleep and miss my 5 am flight.

Sunday morning: Arrive in Seattle airport. Dad is right on time (as always) and we head down to the stadium. It was cold and there was a steady rain/drizzle that's pretty exclusive to Seattle. Thought to myself great, I am going to be cold and wet for the next 5 hours. Two rain ponchos purchased.

Sunday afternoon: Arrive to the stadium, pick up my tickets. My old boss with the Ravens was generous enough to put a media pass for me with my tickets so that I could come say hi up in the press box. I went down to the field and walked around (while my dad was parking the car) and did a lap around Seattle Stadium.

Then I went up to the press box and said hi to a couple of the staff members from the Baltimore stadium. It was super sweet to see my old boss. He's most likely working the Superbowl in Arizona in February and I volunteered to help out as well (answer coming shortly.... stay tuned).

My Dad and I found our seats and luckily we were out of the rain. They were nose bleeds, but Qwest Field in Seattle is so great that it wasn't half bad. Plus I could look out over Puget Sound during timeouts and stuff. We were put with a group of Ravens fans (all who knew someone or some player on the team) so there we were, all twelve Ravens fans together vs. 65,000 loud and raucous Seahawk fans as they celebrated their fourth-straight division title.

The Seahawks dominated all facets of the game. Troy Smith (Baltimore's third-string QB and last year's Heisman trophy winner) was the starter and Ray Lewis and our starting QBs were missing. Needless to say, the healthy Seattle team cruised to a 27-0 lead and then with two minutes left, the Ravens scored on a 79-yard garbage-time pass to WR Derrick Mason.

Side note: I was actually ok with the Seahawks winning because I experienced such an awesome game the night before. Plus, I grew up in Washington and as a young paperboy I would deliver the sports section to the local neighborhood every Monday morning after another Seahawks' loss. They were the most atrocious franchise until they got their new stadium, and I am just happy to see them become somewhat relevant and respected these past four years. And besides, it was the Ravens third string versus the Pro Bowlers of the Seahawks.

Side note II: Why can't Baltimore pass? Seattle can. Virtually every team in the NFL can hike the ball, drop back, complete a pass to a receiver for a first down, but in my six years of being a Ravens fan, they can't seem to get it right. Is it personnel? Coaching? Offensive system? Players? Or is it just some curse that Vinny Testaverde left on the team when he was let go when Brian Billick came to the team in 1999?

We left our nose-bleed seats in the final few minutes and went down to the first row seats to see it up close and personal before the players walked off the field.

I never thought I would pull such an undertaking, but thanks to BYU, Southwest, and the Seahawks for making this once in a lifetime opportunity possible. May I get married to a real girl in 2008, so that I don't become some lame dude with a beard and a beer married to sports.

Wednesday, December 19, 2007

Ultimate Sports Weekend

Ok folks. This weekend is going to be the biggest sports weekend of my life. I am going to Vegas on Friday, and catching the Las Vegas Bowl as BYU takes on UCLA on Saturday night at 6 p.m. on ESPN. Then, just hours after the game, I am hopping on a plane and flying to Seattle to arrive within a few hours of kickoff as the Baltimore Ravens take on the Seattle Seahawks.

Two games, two states, 22 hours!

It will be done, oh yes, it will.

- A full report to come next week.

Wednesday, December 12, 2007

Who would you want your daughter to marry?

The Woes of a Falcons Fan

Average Joe is still probably more of a pro sports fan than college, but it was interesting to see a fan-in-mourning's opinion:   

From Joe to Fan:   

It looks like Bobby Petrino turned out to be a bum, sorry about your team man.
Who are you rooting for in the playoffs? Colts? Packers?

-Average Joe

Response from Fan:   

I lamented the decision to hire that carpet-bagger way back when it happened if you'll remember.  I really thought at the time that Ken Whisenhunt was the man for the job.  He was, Petrino wasn't.  I lump Petrino in with Nick Saban, Urban Meyer, etc. -- all of those coaches just positioning themselves for their next job.  Thank goodness for guys like Bronco Mendenhall whose word actually means something.  I'm so done with the Falcons, I think even the most loyal Falcon fans are having a hard time with the way this season has gone.  I'm done with the NFL for that matter.  It's no secret that my interest in professional sports seems to decrease more each passing year.  Especially being here in the south, college sports are where it's at.  The people here figured that out long ago.  So as for who am I rooting for in the playoffs?  No one.  I know one thing, I hate Bill Bellicheat and the Patriots and I'll cheer for anything to happen that will prevent them from winning.  Including a multi-car crash with Tom Brady involved.  I hate those guys. I hate the Cowboys. Colts are good guys but they lost their appeal by winning last year. I hate the Steelers, etc.  I guess I like Brett Favre okay, but screw the NFL. I'll be so into college basketball by the time the playoffs roll around, it won't get much attention from me.

A Very Jaded Ex-Falcons Fan

Tuesday, December 4, 2007


I want to thank all 11 viewers we had that tuned into our webcast of the Monday Night Football game last night. It was a lot of fun and feel free to email me with any feedback you had (ideas for sprucing up the show, technical difficulties, etc.).

We had a lot of fun and laughs, and thanks again for typing in your questions and comments. The banter was a lot of fun. We'd also like to thank the sponsor, Frito Lays Munchies.

We are thinking about doing another one again, possibly Sunday Night's (December 9) Ravens vs. Colts matchup on NBC. Maybe even an upcoming nationally broadcast Jazz game on TNT or ESPN.

I was happy that the Ravens brought their best game of the season, and I wish they would have played the perfect game to come away with the victory. There were a few costly mental mistakes (Ed Reed's fumble after his INT, the errant Boller pass deep late in the game that was intercepted, and the timeout called by defensive coordinator Rex Ryan that nullified the final fourth-and-short stop). But hey, to beat the Patriots you have to play the perfect game, not the near perfect game.

Mad props to the Ravens offensive and defensive line for controlling the line of scrimmage the entire game, and to Kyle Boller for playing one of his best games of the season. He gets ripped apart by the media, but he is a gritty QB and has taken a lot in his five-year career.

I hope to do more commentary in the second half next time, but I got emotionally caught up in the game in the fourth quarter as those final eight minutes provided some of the most dramatic football of the season...

Hope to see ya next time!

Saturday, December 1, 2007

Live Commentary: Ravens vs. Pats

Join me, Rhett and Mike right here Monday, December 3rd for our live commentary on the game! View it live right here! Watch ESPN for the actual game.

Chat it up with us! Don't mind the BYU - Tulsa thing. That's Ustream's problem.

If you have any problems, just go directly to the ustream link:

Tuesday, November 27, 2007

Excuses and Excuses

Last week, I was going to write a big preview for the Utah vs. BYU game, but I guess I was too busy/lazy... Just before the game, I predicted BYU by two touchdowns.. The game ended up being a huge borefest until the final 4 minutes... BYU won, but needed a little help from the officials late, so now I'll get to hear the Utes whine for the next year... So now I just want BYU to have a blowout victory because these close games allow for the losing team to have excuses galore...

Go Cougs, and yes Austin Collie is still open...

Sidenote: What the BYU basketball team did this weekend was actually a bigger story, but it was barely mentioned over the weekend because of the importance of football in our society...

Sunday, November 11, 2007

Joe's Impromptu College Football Rant

Listen here.

This is while Jon and Rhett play Halo in the background.

Tuesday, October 30, 2007


Wow, what a fun filled week. Baseball is finally over. Hooray! Football is in mid-season meaning it's time for Pro-Bowl rosters to be filled out and second-half runs and collapses. And it's time for what used to be my favorite sport as a teenager - NBA basketball!!!

Alright, well I won't focus on too much of what is going on around the league, because honestly basketball is really easy to pick. Everyone who did good last year will probably do well this year, unless they made a major free agent signing or lost someone significant to free agency or injury.

See, NFL "experts" pick this way and end up looking like morons. At the beginning of the year, everyone picked the Bears, Saints (myself included), Chargers, etc. But with how the NFL is created, it doesn't happen that way.

In basketball it does. The Suns will be great. The Spurs should win it all barring a fluke, and Dallas will be great, but choke in the playoffs because their "MVP" is European.

Cleveland won't repeat last year's success, and Boston should win their division and quite possibly the East because they picked up Kevin Garnett.

One team that won't repeat last year's success: our hometown Utah Jazz.

The Jazz way over-exceeded any expectations last year, and we found out we have the best point guard in the league under the age of 30 (behind two-time MVP Steve Nash and Jason Kidd). But we got lucky to face Mr. Choke T-Mac in game seven of the first round against the Rockets. And were lucky that AK-47 shut down Stephen Jackson in Round 2. Had Stephen Jackson not selfishly taken so many stupid shots against AK-47, and let Jason Richardson dominate the shot selection, the Jazz may have lost that round.

Anyway, we lost Derek Fisher. I am not a big fan of Fisher and I am actually glad to get rid of his contract, but we lose his leadership and that's what took us to the next level last season, not to mention him adequately filling our biggest weakness last year.

We also lost glue players Dee Brown and Rafael Araujo. These guys didn't contribute on the court but they worked their butts off in practice and helped set the Jerry Sloan style in between games. The Jazz let both these players go when they could have had them back for cheap. Sure the Russian rookie (second round draft pick Fez) has more upside than the clumsy Brazilian, but the Brazilian brought experience and toughness.

Dee Brown and Derek Fisher were replaced by Jason Hart and Ronnie Price. I like Ronnie Price because he is a local UVSC prospect, but Hart hasn't brought anything to the table yet. He's just a cheaper Derek Fisher without the leadership.

Dee Brown could have easily been the backup point guard (D-Will will get 40 minutes a game this season) and played an up-tempo 8-10 minutes a game. He brings an energy to the court that is much needed for the second unit in spelling Deron Williams.

Hart and Price will be too busy trying to appease coach Jerry Sloan's style and they will play like robots all year long.

Harpring isn't healthy and AK47 wants to lay somewhere else and the Jazz should have tried to three-team trade in a Shawn Marion - Lamar Odom deal. We are lucky to have AK's talents back, and he'll play more with Matt Harpring recovering from surgery.

We are forgetting one major probability in the Jazz near future. Carlos Boozer has over a 50% chance of getting injured this year. He's been injured in two of his three seasons here, and he enters the season out of shape. If he could down for 10-30 games, our regular season is screwed and we barely make the playoffs as a 6, 7, or 8 seed and we get tossed in the first round by Phoenix, Dallas, or San Antonio.

The unrealistic optimism for this year will wear on coach Sloan and will force him to retire after the "unfulfilled" season. This is actually a good thing though because if Jerry Sloan's old school butt retires, then point guard Deron Williams will want to sign his contract extension with a younger, more up-tempo coach that will replace coach Sloan.

Then the following season (2008-09) will be the year of the Utah Jazz. The Suns will either get their title this year or dismantle if they don't. The Spurs will be in a rebuilding year if they don't repeat this year, and Mark Cuban will blow up Dallas if they don't win it all also.

Deron Williams will direct the team under a new coach. Okur will be in a contract year (along with Boozer I believe) and the Jazz will know by then if Ronnie Brewer is the answer at the two guard. AK47 will probably be traded or rejuvinated when Sloan leaves, and Milsap will be playing for a huge contract. It's the Jazz golden opportunity to bring us years of playoff years to come if we get rid of AK47 and Okur and build around a new coach, Deron and Boozer.

Yeah. I might end up liking the NBA more than the NFL just like I used to :)

WARNING: Endangered Quaterback Epidemic Strikes the Nation!

Think about it. There are 32 professional football teams right now. How many current all-stars can you name off the top of your head? Three? Four? Peyton Manning, Tom Brady, Brett Farve, and flash in the pan Tony Romo (mainly because he plays for the Cowboys, and he's just as famous for his Scott Norwood-esque blunder in the playoffs last year as he is for dating American Idol country superstar Carrie Underwood).

Wow, with over 100 college teams and 10,000 high school teams each year, why we can't produce more NFL-quality starters? Just look at the situations in Minnesota, Jacksonville, Arizona, etc. It's unbelievable!

I think I may have found the reason for this dramatic decline of superstars in the most important position in all of sports - the Quarterback. Why isn't there just a flow of dozens of future stars waiting in the mix. It's not like basketball where you need to be tall, or baseball where you have to be a genetic freak from the age of four. The average QB in the NFL needs to be about 6' 3'' 235 pounds and have a good arm, which can be taught from a young age like baseball pitchers. And trust me, there are plenty of good baseball pictures around.

It's not coaching. High school football coaches are as advanced as ever. It's not complicated offensive systems, because most offenses copy one another with a few changes, especially what BYU, Texas Tech and Hawaii have implemented in college. Nor is it the lack of quality places to learn how to play the quarterback. There are plenty of top quality camps put on during the summers and Peyton Manning even has his own camp. The real diagnosis to the pathetic QB epidemic It's Revenge of the Nerds.

It's quite simple. Movies have been falsely promoting that the Nerd wins for almost 20 years and this generation of false hope has finally caught up to us. There have been too many Revenge of the Nerds, Angus, Benchwarmers, The New Guys, and other "nerds win" movies giving the impossible and unrealistic glory and the nerd steals the hot chick from the preppy QB at the end.

Sha, right, and I'm rich and famous and dating a cheerleader. I was a nerd. I played the viola in the orchestra. My only sports glory was writing stories about the real QBs getting chicks after the games.

This needs to be glorified more. Some quick examples. Tom Brady dates Giselle, after he hooked up with Bridget Moynahan. Brett Favre's wife is gorgeous. I'm sure Peyton is married to some hottie from Tennessee. Backup QB Kyle Boller dated Tara Reid and probably got enough girls at Cal to last a lifetime. Matt Leinhart hung out with Paris Hilton in college. And heck, even well-traveled veteran Jeff Garcia ended up marrying a Playmate of the Year when he played in Cleveland.

We need Hollywood to get back to producing movies with real endings. The hot chick doesn't pick the nerd, but the jock. Even if that jock doesn't go to college and works construction, he still ends up with the high school babe. The nerd may become an engineer or accountant with a bigger bank account, but not a hotter wife. So now we need to let people know that the jock everybody hates in high school really does make it to the pros once in a while.

I mean c'mon, 25% of the good QBs currently in the NFL came from one family - the Mannings (and poor Peyton and Eli's mission was already in place because daddy played pro football).

I once tried out for QB in high school my junior year because I watched one too many movies, but reality set in - FAST. It lasted one day. I wasn't QB material, and went back to being the benchwarmer.

We need more masochism and bravado back in Hollywood pre-teen high school movies -- not High School Musical. And then, just then, maybe our children will be able to watch quality quarterbacks on NFL Sunday 20 years from now. We will be able to gamble in peace, knowing that a crap QB like a David Carr or Joey Harrington isn't going to lose our money. It's for our future.

Wednesday, October 24, 2007


Ok, my favorite sports writer "Sports Guy" is from Boston. He's a die-hard Boston sports nut, to the point where he is the most read and most important writer that ESPN has to offer. I've been reading him since he first started writing on back in 2000 (the same year I got home from my mission).

I have read his 20-40 minute articles religiously for the past seven years, except for the Red Sox ones because I really think baseball is boring. Over the years, I was neutral on the woe-is-us drama queens we called the Red Sox fans and their whole "Curse of the Bambino: 1918 thing."

Girls: if you don't know what I am talking about, then go back to the Drew Barrymore chick flick Fever Pitch, starring the biggest disappointment of Saturday Night Live history Mr. Jimmy Fallon.

When the Red Sox finally snapped the curse, and did it against the hated Yankees in 2004, I was happy for all the starving life-long fans of Boston. Sports Guy (we will call him BS from here on out because those are his initials) even wrote a book called Now I Can Die In Peace.

The Sox winning the World Series in 2004 was probably the biggest sports story of the decade. But what's happened since is really annoying. The next year the Chicago White Sox (whose losing streak was longer than the beloved lovable loser Sox) broke their 1917 streak that was even more cursed with Shoeless Joe's (Field of Dreams starring Kevin Costner) infamous gambling scandal. But nobody wrote about nor watched that series.

Last year, the Detroit Tigers (a team that really stunk over the past 20 years) beat the Sox and Yankees on their way the World Series and nobody cared about them.

Anyway, the point is that the Sox have become the new Yankees, even BS has admitted this. Yankees fans are hated because they have dominated baseball for an entire 100-year span. They are the Dallas Cowboys, the Los Angeles Lakers, the Notre Dame of their sport. They dominate the headlines.

But yeah, my biggest beef about these die-hard fans is the way they have acted since the 2004 title. They feel entitled to good karma now. For example, last week after they lost Game 4 and were down 3-1 to the Indians, BS wrote his team off in the classic "This team sucks: pre-2004 fashion." One week later, and three straight impractical victories, BS writes a "This team is clutch total-Yankees fashion." Blah.

I know where he is coming from. I witnessed the Jazz pull it earlier this year when we were down 3-1 to the Rockets. I was hating. I wanted Jerry Sloan gone forever. But I knew that the Jazz karma wouldn't last. They got trounced by the eventual champion San Antonio Spurs, who exposed every flaw we had.

But these new Sox fans. They feel entitled. They think they have this swagger (even though they haven't really done jack since 2004). I hate Sox fans because they forget that Boston has the most storied franchise in Basketball (Celtics own 16 titles). I hate Sox fans because the New England Patriots have the football team of the decade but all they care about is their stupid losing baseball team. The Pats can win 10 Superbowls, but the town only cares about 2004. Baseball is America's pastime, and football is America's primetime. Any football town would trade places with the Pats these past few years, yet the Sox could almost sign A-Rod and it would be a bigger story than if the Patriots go undefeated this year. No mention of Boston College being No. 2 in college football right now. No mention of Garnett about to change the Celtics, just plain old Sox, Sox, Sox....


That's why I am rooting for the Rockies this World Series. They have won an amazing 22 of 23 games to get into this World Series and yet the Red Sox are 2-1 favorites. I hope the Sox get swept. And I hope all the people tuned in experience Red Sox Nation watch this Cinderella knock em out.

In fact, I am so sick of Boston right now, I want Boston College to get blown out in the BCS title game. I want an undefeated Patriots team to go down in flames in the Superbowl so that people don't say that Tom Brady is better than Joe Montana. And I want the Kevin Garnett, Ray Allen, Paul Pierce and Danny Ainge's Boston Celtics to lose in the NBA Finals to whatever foe awaits them.

Then they can experience what a lifelong BYU and Utah Jazz fan like myself can experience. They can't have this much good karma in that city all at once. It's just not right. Cities like Philly and Seattle could borrow 20% of the sports mojo going on in Boston right now and survive for decades.

Gimme one title, just one. The only team to ever provide joy in my life has been the 49ers (thank you Deion). Now if only Sloan can retire after this season, so the Jazz can win it all in 2009 and I won't spew chowder all over the city of Boston.

Thursday, October 18, 2007

Guitar Hero 3: It's like Christmas morning!!

So, I was sitting at my desk at work today and my buddy emailed me the set list for the new Guitar Hero 3: Legends of Rock video game coming out in 8 days. Anyway, once I saw the set list, it was like Christmas morning. Not only has the Guitar Hero tri-fecta conquered some of my favorite bands, but the also pick the favorites songs of my favorite bands. They are in my freakin head!!!!

Without further ado, the magical set list. You may want to sit down before reading on:

Guitar Hero 3 Main Set Song List

3's and 7's - Queens of the Stone Age
Anarchy in the U.K. - Sex Pistols
Barracuda - Heart
Before I Forget - Slipknot
Black Magic Woman - Santana
Black Sunshine - White Zombie
Bulls on Parade - RAGE
Cherub Rock - Smashing Pumpkins
Cities on Flame - Blue Oyster Cult
Cliffs of Dover - Eric Johnson
Cult of Personality - In Living Color
Devil Went Down to Georgia The Charlie Daniels Band
Evenflow - Pearl Jam
Go That Far - Jibbs
Helicopter - Bloc Party
Hit Me With Your Best Shot - Pat Benatar
Holiday in Cambodia - Dead Kennedy's
Knights of Cydonia - MUSE
Kool Thing - Sonic Youth
La Grange - ZZ Top
Lay Down - O. A. R.
Miss Murder - AFI
Mississippi Queen - Mountain
Monsters - Funeral for a Friend
My Name is Jonas - Weezer
Number of the Beast - Iron Maiden
One - Metallica
Paint it Black - Rolling Stones
Paranoid - Black Sabbath
Pride and Joy - Stevie Ray Vaughan
Raining Blood - Slayer
Reptillia - The Strokes
Rock N Roll All Nite - KISS
Rock You Like a Hurricane - Scorpions
Sabotage - Beastie Boys
Same Old Song and Dance - Aerosmith
School's Out - Alice Cooper
Slowride - Foghat
Story of My Life - Frankie J
Suck My Kiss - Red Hot Chili Peppers
Sunshine of Your Love - Cream
Talk Dirty To Me - Poison
The Metal - Tenacious D
The Seeker - The Who
Welcome to the Jungle - Guns and Roses
When You Were Young - The Killers

Wednesday, October 17, 2007

National Boss Day

Yesterday was National Boss Day: Since I don't really know my own boss at Zions super well, I figured I would spotlight my favorite fellow Zions person who is a boss, but not my boss :(

For security purposes, we shall call her Roberta.

Born: Montclair, CA
High School: Millard High in Fillmore
Favorite Dessert: Cherry Pie
Place you'd like to visit: Maine and Hawaii
Dream job situation: Love to own and AIDS home. Place with people with AIDS live to get their medical care (like a nursing home for AIDS sufferers)
What on your I-pod right now: Beethoven
First boy kissed: Jay in 7th grade
Plays: Piano
Favorite team: Duke basketball
Starbucks favorite: White chocolate hot chocolate
Favorite game growing up: Doctor ;)
Next kid's name: Boy - Anthony James (A.J.)

Sunday, October 7, 2007

Rejuvination Weekend

(Editor's note: The editor for Average Joe's Sports Blog was in Hawaii this past week. So when we say "this past weekend," I guess it was two weekends ago. And I know what you're thinking. "This blog has an editor?" Yeah, well it does. Long story. We'll talk about it sometime.)

This past weekend could very well be labeled Upset Weekend in the land of football.

In college football, defending champion Florida as well as Oklahoma, West Virginia Texas, Rutgers, and Clemson all lost. Some of the losses came at home, and many of them came against unranked opponents.

In pro football, the Packers and Cowboys are now 4-0, while the Chargers and Bears are 1-3, and could be joined by the Bengals after Monday Night Football. Several upsets included the Falcons over the Texans, the Browns over my homeboy Ravens, the Chiefs over the Chargers, and the Cardinals over the undefeated Steelers.

But in wake of it all, instead of calling it Upset Weekend, why not call it Rejuvination Weekend?

Think about it. Do you really want to see Florida win it all again? Not me. Do you wanna see Oklahoma in the title game when they can't take care of woeful Colorado on the road? Not me. Do you wanna see Texas win their second title in three years? Not me. Do you really wanna see the Bears win the Superbowl and do another Superbowl Shuffle re-make from 1985 with Jim McMahon making a cameo? Not me.

So now, there are some fresh faces in college football. Sure, I'd love to see South Florida and Cal go undefeated and play in the national championship game. Why not? In the NFL, is it fun to see Cleveland and Oakland battling it out for the wildcard? Why not? I wouldn't mind seeing the Packers play in another Superbowl so Favre can finally retire in peace. Why not?

Speaking of rejuvination weekend and fresh faces, my new roommates and I threw a killer party on Saturday. Let me tell you, it's been way too long since I've thrown a good party. It's probably been about a year since our last good one.

It was funny, because at 9 o'clock, we had nobody there and a few dudes showed up and they seemed to be a little scared. By 10 o'clock, only a small handful had shown up. Heck, even I was starting to doubt... Had it been too long since I've tried to do something cool? Was I that far out of the loop?

But just as my doubts were starting to increase of my irrelevancy, the party started to boom. From 10:15 on, people started showing up by the car loads. We easily had over 150 people in and out of the house throughout the night. The music was pumpin' out the speakers, the floor was shaking and the drinks flowed like wine (non-alcholic wine that is).

It was an eclectic mix of fresh faces, too! It was the same old party-goers that you see at all the typical parties. The tone was set with the loud music, so people just weren't standing around talking. The ones that wanted to do that went out on the deck in the musk September air. We had Nintendo Wii going on in the basement.

Broken acquaintence-ships were re-acquianted, and the single lady to sweet-bro ratio were fairly even, which is rare for a party in SLC these days. All-in-all, it felt good to feel somewhat socially relevant again... it was, well to re-emphazise my point, re-juvinating. It makes me want to throw another party like it next week, but in the unwritten rules of party throwing, you have to wait at least a three to four months inbetween great parties.

So thank you, all of you that attended. I hope you had fun. And for all of you that didn't: hope to see ya there next time.

Friday, September 21, 2007

The 90s Are Back... I Wish

There was an awesome quote stated on Monday Night Football where one of the announcers said something to the extent of "The San Francisco 49ers are 2-0, the Dallas Cowboys are 2-0, and O.J. Simpson is in Jail, it must be 1994 all over again."

Since there is nothing interesting to blog about this week in the sports world, I'd figure I'd blog about something else: Music.

Now, I'm a product of the 90's. It's 2007, but I have no idea about style or fashion, or even music or anything going on in pop culture. I haven't been to a high school in 10 years, and I've even been out of college for four years now, so I have no idea what the kids are wearing, what's the cool hairstyle, and JUST YESTERDAY, I realized how gross it really is for men to wear short shorts (like my sports idol John Stockton).

I was sitting in the bank drive-thru, and I saw a dude in his late 30's wearing short shorts. Even though he had defined calf muscles and strong quads, I realized that nobody wants to see a man's thighs. So as of right now, I don't own a single pair of shorts anymore.

So, what's going on with music? I have no idea what has happened since 1998 (when I left the country for a two-year mission in Brazil). All I know is that when I graduated high school in 1997, music had just gone through one of the greatest revolutions since the 1960's, when music was cool with Jimi Hendrix and Woodstock.

The 1970's were all about drugs and the only rock worth mentioning was Led Zeppelin. The 1980's were lame as far as rock is concerned. The only thing good to happen in rock was early Metallica (Master of Puppets, Ride the Lightning, etc.).

But then in 1991, everything changed with Kurdt Cobain and Nirvana's smash single "Smells Like Teen Spirit" knocking Michael Jackson and Michael Bolton off the Top 10 charts.

So many good things happened after with this explosion. Pearl Jam's Ten was one of the greatest albums ever, PERIOD. Soundgarden, Alice in Chains, Stone Temple Pilots and the the whole Seattle grunge explosion changed everything. Incredible distortion, non-commercialized, soulful rock was ba-ack.

It's funny 'cause a few years ago, I watched a special on VH1 "grunge" with the whole Nirvana explosion from 1991-1994, and the "pop culture experts" that VH1 gets to comment on these shows acte like they were embarrased for liking grunge... But I respond to them, "What, like it wasn't cool to like rock, but now it's cool to like screamo and N' Sync?" What's your logic for embarrassment?

Anyway, when I left the states in 1998, Smashing Pumpkins and Rage Against the Machine had just come off ruling the entire Universe, and the short-lived ska craze was dying out.

Jump forward two years, and I step off the plane in 2000, and start watching MTV again, and it's all Britney Spears, Backstreet Boys, N' Sync, Limp Bizkit, and Blink 182. What the hell just happened?

And from 2000-2007, we have suffered through Creed, Nickelback, Fall Out Turd, Hoobastank, Dashboard Confessional, James Blunt and the list just keeps getting worse and worse.

One simple note, geniuses Kurdt Cobain, James Hetfield, Eddie Vedder, Chris Cornell, Lane Staley, Billy Corgan and co. weren't singing about chicks like "artists" did in the 80s and the 00s (2000-2009) we'll call them the Otts... I think people really took for granted the amount of star power that existed in a five year period (1991-96).

My favorite bands have had a few comeback splashes here and there, for example Weezer, Pearl Jam, hybrids AudioSlave and Velvet Revolver, RAGE and Smashing Pumpkins' latest attempts to be important again... Luckily, Green Day's American Idiot was incredible. So good in fact that its radio overplay nearly takes away from the fact that it's one of the few good albums in the last 10 years.

It's crazy because in the last 10 years, I have only liked two NEW bands. One of them is Incubus, but they're dying a slow death which is sad because they had the right formula (good-looking lead singer with shirt off, black guy doing his vinyl record-scratching thing, groovy jams, etc.)

I hear that White Stripes and the Cold War Kids are supposed to save this mess, but I dunno. When Jack White's ill sister cancels an entire tour, it's pretty pathetic. My 4-year old nephew could cover up for her "advanced" drumming skills.

I saw Cold War Kids last night on Jay Leno, and they seemed alright, but a little too faddish and hyped. There was so much going on onstage, I couldn't tell if I was watching some new form of Mighty Mighty Bosstones or the band Arrested Development's extended family perform on stage. They had a dude performing on the "white board," so that takes away from the music just a wee bit.

It's crazy to think that 1991 was 16 years ago....

Anyway, Avenged Sevenfold has some awesome tunes, but they are a little too metal for the radio, so the future of good music lies in the hands on one band. Unfortunately they are from Britland. It's sad to think that all the HUGE, impact bands, which are of course the Beatles and U2 (yes, I know they are from Ireland, but it's pretty much the same place) - and definitely NOT the 80s flops Flock of Seagulls and 90s uber-flop Oasis - have to come from that BBC-luvin' country of Great Britain.

Yes, that's right. We need MUSE to save the music industry. I just saw them in concert last week for the second time, and they have the potential to be the next huge band on the planet, and I mean a U2 and Beatles revolution. It's crazy to think that their onstage performance is produced by only three people. Most big bands have four members, but heck, Nirvana started the last revolution with only three members. Jack White can't do with with two (especially his lame sister), Cold War Kids can't to it with ten-plus (sorry white board player guy), so it's up to Muse.

If you haven't jumped on the bandwagon yet, download Starlight, Hysteria, Stockholm Syndrome, Bliss, or the new best Queen impersonation Knights of Cydonia (sorry Mika, you're a poser). Muse has to save the planet from the last ten years of this rock music infestation of poorly produced over-hyped under-talented trash.

If you happen to watch the VMA's the only genre of music this decade with any so
ul is Rap, stemming from geniuses like Eminem, 50 cent, Kanye, Jay-Z, Timbaland, and J.T.

Rock needs to be saved and needs to be saved NOW. "Help us Muse, you're are only hope." Let us help you influence a new generation of good music because in a matter of four years, it'll be 2011. Hopefully (crossing my fingers), the good music cycle is set to repeat itself where new Nirvanas, Pearl Jams, and Metallicas are set for a fresh, new rock revolution.

Ok, maybe I should stick to sports...

Saturday, September 15, 2007

Football: It's Just a Game

K. Time for the weekly thoughts. You know, it's been an amazing week since real NFL football is back in the picture...

The funny thing is, I don't feel like writing about the NFL this week. I was ticked off that NBC didn't show one highlight during its halftime. Guess what?!?!?! Nobody was watching your pre-game because the Chargers vs. Bears game wasn't over yet, so show us some highlights at halftime, instead of the boring Keith Olberman talking about Jets fans. I hate NBC. They haven't done a single good thing since Seinfeld went off the air with a crappy last episode and Green Day playing its goodbye song.

Anyway, there is nothing I feel like writing about in the NFL this week. Sports Guy is sticking to his crappy instincts and his NFL picks, and he is going totally bandwagon on his sleeper after one week, I don't care that Bellichick was videotaping Mangini and Jets assistants, and the penalty was TOO harsh. They should have just fined Billicheck, and suspended him for Sunday's national broadcast, and made him wear a t-shirt in the Jets vs. Patriots rematch that says "I learned everything from Eric."

The real story of the NFL is the Bills TE Kevin Everett getting paralyzed, but now it seems like he will recover. Football is a deadly sport, and the risk these players put it is worth the reward of the paychecks they get. So before you complain about an NFL player making millions of dollars, remember the average career of an NFL player is only three years, and they put their bodies at risk every Sunday. Until you are willing to step on that field with 250-300 pound hitting machines coming at you, then keep your safe cubicle job like I do. I learned that respect from being on the sidelines of an NFL team for a year.

Anyway, the real story this week is in college football. After two weeks, there are no real mid-major schools that will break into the BCS this year. The only real players were BYU, TCU and Boise State, but they all lost by week two. Hawaii doesn't count cause they suck and nobody wants to see them in a BCS bowl 'cause unlike Utah and Boise State, they will lose badly, and there is still a great chance that they will lose before the year's up.

So expect the BCS bowls to all feature 1-2 loss major conference teams battling each other, and maybe, one undefeated team in the title game (USC is the best bet). The pretenders (Georgia, Auburn, Michigan, Notre Dame) are all out.

The one bright side of everything, Michigan could be 0-3 at home before by game 3. Just awesome! I've never liked Michigan, and I hope coach Carr gets fired before the season is over.

One other note, if Notre Dame loses, they are officially racists if Charlie Weis keeps his job after this season, because Ty Willingham got fired after one bad year. Now he's building a nice little team at the University of Washington. Not to mention MTV is racist because Kanye is now officially a legal idiot :)

But now that I have no BCS sleeper, and my Ravens could suck (and I mean 7-9 suck and miss the playoffs) this year, I need to find something to do over the next four months... I guess I could look for a real job... or just call Vegas and pick the exact opposite of the Sports Guy. His NFL picks are almost as sure as everything that comes out of Sean Salisbury's mouth (inside joke).

Friday, September 7, 2007

Average Joe's 2007 NFL Preview

I can't believe it! I've been waiting for this moment for the entire summer! Football is back! And I am not talking college football, but real professional football! The lifeblood of American sports. Baseball is supposed to be the national pastime - at least they got the "past" part right - then the NFL must be the nation's "Primetime."

I can't begin to tell you how long this summer has seemed without anything to read about on I actually got busted at work earlier this year for being on the Internet too much, and they took my ESPN rights away from me, but it really wasn't that big of a deal since there has been nothing interesting since the Jazz made a fake run in the NBA playoffs and the pretty eventful NBA draft.

But now, after much waiting, it's time for real football again. Don't get me wrong, I like college football, but I get sick of hearing about Notre Dame, USC, Michigan, and the SEC. There are only about 12 teams that really matter, but I would much rather root for the Boise States and BYUs of the nation anyway. I hate how much favoritism the bigger schools always receive. But anyway, back to real football.

One thing that drives me crazy about the "experts" pick every season is that basically, all they do is pick up a copy of last year's standings and then make the exact same picks all across the board - AFC East: Patriots, AFC South: Ravens, AFC West: Chargers, NFC North: Bears, NFC South: Saints. Anyway, you get my point.

This works fine for MLB and the NBA, but it doesn't work in football. Last year alone, two teams that everybody picked would suck made the playoffs. The New York Jets of the AFC, and the New Orleans Saints of the NFC. Nobody had them higher than five wins, yet they each won ten games and won their divisions. The defending Superbowl champs the Pittsburgh Steelers didn't even make the playoffs!

So this year, they are doing it all over again. It's like picking up a March Madness bracket and picking all four number one seeds to make the Final Four. We all know this NEVER happens, and it NEVER happens in the NFL from year to year.

Well, anyway, I am already rambling on before I can even breakdown all 32 teams, plus I am not an "expert" anyway. I at least have the guts to make some non-Chargers, Patriots, Chicago, and Saints picks to go all the way to their respective title games.


There are a few teams to watch out for that people have already written off. I think the Titans will do ok, even though some teams have them as last in the AFC South. Jaguars can win their division, but will probably settle for the wild card thanks to the Colts. And the Bills can steal a wild card. I think the Raiders will do just fine, maybe even 8-9 wins because they have an awesome defense and easy schedule, I think the Lions will surprise some people, and I also think that Carolina will win their division, and maybe, just maybe Green Bay will make the playoffs. And who knows, maybe the Atlanta Falcons will use this whole Michael Vick fiasco to rally as a team and surprise a lot of "experts."


The Chargers are way overrated. They had an easy schedule last year, and Norv Turner is definetely not going to make it to the promised land. As Sports Guy once witnessed, he sucks at blackjack. The Colts won't repeat as Superbowl champs, and I hope Peyton Manning never even comes close to sniffing a ring again. As Billy Madison once said "I have a feeling that you and your whole family is going down." Tony Dungy won that ring, not you! I won't be surprised if the Bears miss the playoffs. And sorry folks, as much as I love Mike Nolan, the 49ers won't be winning their division, although I hope they get a wild card just because he deserves it.


As much as I love the Ravens (for obvious reasons) and the Saints, I'll just put it out there. A Ravens and Saints Superbowl would be sweet! The best offense versus the best defense. Defense wins championships (as I bet on the Raiders over the Bucs in 2003, HUGE MISTAKE). Steve McNair gets his ring, then retires. As much as I love the Saints, who are everyone's feel good story with Drew Brees, Hurrican Katrina and co., I'm going with my team. I know the Ravens are boring for everybody, but if Ray Lewis stays healthy, it's O-V-E-R. He is so good that his pass deflections actually lost the game for the last season against the Colts.

Thursday, August 30, 2007

BYU 2007 Season Preview

It's hard to put in words my feelings for BYU football. I know for some people it's nearly a religion, but I grew up in Washington so I don't have deep roots in BYU football.
I remember when Ty Detmer defeated No. 1 Miami and won the Heisman trophy. Everybody was talking about it in church and our deacons quorum got together and watched the game. I don't remember much.
I remember watching "The Pick" in the 1996 Cotton Bowl over K-State that clinched a 14-1 record and a Top 5 ranking, and thinking, I am going to school there next year!
But once I got there, we only really had one good season. We didn't make a bowl game in 1997, lost in bowls in 1998 and 1999 when I was on a mission. LaVell didn't make a bowl game in his final season in 2000, when Brandan Doman beat the Utes in an unforgettable game.
My first year in BYU sports information, Doman and RB Luke Staley led the Cougars to an improbable 12-0 start, including the amazing come-from-behind win against Utah, but we got spanked at Hawaii, and I didn't watch the bowl game.
In 2002, the Gary Crowton magic was lost with his graduating class and things went bleak. I actually like Crowton a lot. I just thought his players were undisciplined.
I want to forget 2003, because I only watched embarrassing Thursday night losses to Boise State and Colorado State when I was interning with the Baltimore Ravens.
In 2004, Crowton was fired after another losing season.
Bronco Mendenhall took charge in 2005, and I went to his opening loss to Boston College. But the Cougs rebounded and played in the Las Vegas Bowl and lost to Cal. I actually went to that game, but left frustrated.
Last year, after opening up the season with two painful road losses to Arizona and Boston College, John Beck finally learned how to become a football player and not imitate a robot quarterback. We went on to win 10 straight, including an amazing road win at TCU, the best road win ever against Utah! I think Harline is still open. That play brought as much joy to my sports-starved soul than when Stockton hit the winning shot over Charles Barkely. I didn't watch the Bowl win though.
I dunno, I never grew up with the Gifford Neilson, Jim McMahon, Steve Young, Robbie Bosco dynasty. I don't know Ty Detmer or Steve Sarkisian. All I know is Brandon Doman, who didn't throw a pretty ball, but he just won games! It took me four years to open up to John Beck.
Now we have Max Hall. With all the disappointment I have experienced since my first year at BYU in 1997. I've only had two great BYU moments. Doman and Staley over the Utes in 2001, and Beck-to-Harline in 2006. So since things are looking up, I'll just give out a simple prediction.
I won't break down each team, each position, the conference, home vs. away, nothing like that. I just figure we'll win the opener since it's at home. And we'll find some way to beat UCLA because the entire BYU team will have a vendetta out for the golden recruit who left, Mr. Ben Olson. He's not a traitor. Anyone in his shoes would have transferred so they didn't have to suffer what John Beck did for his first three and a half seasons.
So with Arizona, and UCLA taken care of, the rest of the season is very favorable to the Cougs. Let's just do it.
Undefeated, 12-0. We get the BCS bid and lose the bowl game, but hey, nobody expected us to get that far anyway.

Friday, August 24, 2007

The One Right Thing About Baseball

Q: Hey, i guess the Rangers beat the Orioles this past week 30-3. Is it bad sportsmanship to run up the score in baseball, or does baseball need it to make it exciting?

A: Yeah, it was Wednesday night... and it was in Baltimore which makes it even more embarrassing for O's fans. They are one of the stinkiest teams in baseball, but they are also in the toughest division...

I am not the biggest baseball guru, in fact John Edvalson would know more about this than I would. But in baseball, I don't think it's that bad to run up the score. Because batting average statistics are so vital to the individual, you don't want a team that is just ripping it up, as the Rangers did to the O's Wednesday, to have their batters get up to bat and strike out on purpose. As a manager, you would be asking your player to lower his batting average just because the opposing team can't hit or field.

Basically, I think the team that is getting throttled (in Wednesday night's epic case, the Orioles) just has to take the beating BECAUSE if you switch the situation around, if the O's were laying the smack down on the Rangers, you would want your batters to have that hot streak continue. Baseball is a game of momentum, and you don't want to take any momentum away from a team, even if it is at the stake of an opponent.

I believe that it is generally accepted to run up the score because you can't ask your batter to intentionally strike out. It does the batter a disservice and it even does the pitcher facing the batter and even bigger shame.

Softball, a bastardized version of baseball created for girls, has a mercy rule in effect that if the opposing team is leading by 10 or more runs after X amount of innings, then they just call the game to avoid embarrasment. This is good not to hurt girls feelings - or the girly men like myself who are so bad that we have to get embarrased by a bunch mullet-haired freaks at the local community league.

Football, yes, it's unsportsmanlike to run up the score. In basketball, it's somewhat considered unsportsmanlike to run up the score. What usually happens is once a team is up by at least 20 in the fourth quarter, then both teams send in the scrubs and whatever the score ends up being is ok. Last year, George Karl head coach of the Denver Nuggets forgot this rule against the Knicks and it started a brawl that got his star player suspended 15 games for a girly slap (In honesty, Karl had a vendetta out for Knicks coach Isiah Thomas, and Thomas' players fought back).

Hockey, it's ok, but it's not even a top 4 sport anymore. Golf doesn't count, and it's ok to run up any lead in any type of race in order to break records, etc.

The IRONY is football is supposed to be the manliest sport of all, and they are the ones that cry the most about running up the score. If the team that is up wants to run up the score, that's fine with me. Let's pad the stats. If the QB gets sacked and breaks his leg, then it's the coaches fault for trying to run up the score, but there is nothing unsportmanlike about it. NOTE: It's not ok at the pee-wee and high school level (where the biggest talent swings occur), but at the collegiate and pro level - it's fine by me. Go ahead: Break those records! But if your starters get injured, then that's the risk you take.

Big, tough football players, such whiners..... at least baseball got it right.

Tuesday, August 21, 2007

Vick the Quick - More like Vick the Sick

Michael Vick, the fastest quarterback to ever play football is going to go to jail after accepting a plea bargain this upcoming Monday. It appears as though it is going to be at least two or three years before he plays in the NFL again, IF he ever gets a second chance in the league.

It's crazy to think that in 2003, he was the most popular player in the NFL. His jersey was the number one selling jersey. He was the cover boy for Madden, which gave him the sickest video game rating since Bo Jackson in Tecmo Bowl . He was THE most martketable face in the league, even more so than everybody's mama's boy Peyton Manning...

I have personally seen Michael Vick play twice. Once in the infamous game of the 2003 pre-season game in Hotlanta when my Baltimore boy LB Adalius Thomas broke his leg during a routine tackle when Vick scrambled out of the pocket.

TANGENT ALERT: That was the first time I ever traveled with an NFL team, and let me tell you, NFL teams spare no expense. We received a police escort to the airport, and we were rushed right past security where we boarded the plane almost instantly with lobster tail waiting for us for the pre-flight meal. Once getting there we stayed at the Four Seasons hotel, had a monstrous breakfast, and an incredible per diem.

Last year, I flew out to Baltimore to watch Vick the Quick play in the regular season. The Ravens sacked Vick a lot that game (including a nice WWE suplex sack by my Oklahoma boy DT Kelly Gregg), but let me tell you, I have never seen anybody race around the end to avoid trouble in the pocket and pick up 10-20 yards before the defense could react . He is lightning fast and thus the player rating on Madden was accurately given.

Vick the Sick has had many knocks on his character recently with getting busted with pot at the Miami airport, flipping off a home crowd after struggling in a loss, and of course the recent gruesome dogfighting allegations with the subsequent plea bargain . But Vick was also a great philanthropist and was one of the first to step up and contribute when his alma mater Virginia Tech was shot up by a crazed student last fall.

He has always been under the microscope, but I don't think he ever really understood how big he was. Or maybe his problem was that he was so big he thought he was above the law. He should have learned how quickly the great can fall, even at their athletic peak with examples of Mike Tyson and Maurice Clarett. This is probably the fastest non-injury related incident of a superstar falling from grace.

Heck, it was so fast, even his team the Atlanta Falcons didn't see this one coming. They traded their highly sought after backup Matt Schaub just before the draft (a move they definitely would have avoided had they known about the FBI investigation of Vick). They didn't go after a free agent quarterback nor pick on up in the draft. Now they are stuck with piano boy Joey Harrington and Chris Redman as his backup. Special note that Chris Redman hasn't even played in the NFL since 2003, when Vick was on the Madden Cover.

Shoot, the Chargers look magnificent trading down and getting 2006 NFL MVP running back LaDanian Tomlinsen in a draft day trade when everybody thought they were crazy for trading the number one pick with a franchise quarterback in the draft. I guess they had been so spooked with the Ryan Leaf/Peyton Manning fiasco of 1998.

Ironically, I think Planet Earth is upside down when O. J. Simpson didn't go to jail for double murder after a mountain of evidence (including a bloody glove and fleeing from the cops in a white Ford Bronco). Kobe didn't go to jail for going backdoor on a teenager, and was even able to play regular season games on the same days as his trial dates. Now Vick's career is over for doing something that is not that uncommon in the backwoods of Mississippi - Clinton Portis quote.

I am not saying that dog fighting is ok. It it sick, inhuman, saddening, bloodthirsty and disgusting. I just think that murder and rape are worse crimes because they involve other human beings. If this had been cockfighting (I've always wanted to type that), then he would get a slap on the wrist and pay a fine.

My fellow Ravens intern Jason and I would joke (we worked together during the Kobe trial) everytime Kobe's name was on ESPN in the summer of 2003, we would blurt "Kobe - Going to Jail" in high-pitched mocking voices. But we did NOT see this coming when we were running for touchdowns later in the evenings playing as the coverboy Vick on the Play Station 2.

Wednesday, August 1, 2007

Why the Utes Suck

Q: Alright name some things on your list.

A: Bandwagon: You're right about that. Every college has their bandwagon fans (including BYU - remember 2001 with Staley) but the Utes jump off their bandwagon so fast. These last few years with the basketball team going down the toilet is a perfect example. The Huntsman Center used to be rated as one of top places to play in the Nation. Now it's a joke on game day. Same with football, most of our arguments come from knowing Paul. He jumped on the Urban bandwagon so fast. He did travel with the crazies this past year even when then Utes are going downhill fast, but I don't see him being a die hard in 3 years when Kyle W. gets fired.

Mixing the church in the rivalry: It's so ignorant. When they come to Cougar stadium wearing a t-shirt "My Testimony is Bigger than Yours". That's great. We never said we had a bigger testimony... I mean Wyoming and other schools can make fun of the Mormon influence at BYU, but when over half your school is LDS, why make fun of it. It's lame. I know I used to think that the Utes were all jack, but now I know better after living here for a few years. But still: it's gets old. Find something new. Remember when someone held up the mug shot at the BYU/Utah game for Spivey, or whatever point guard got busted at the U. That's original. It's good stuff.

Thursday, July 19, 2007

Utah Jazz 2007-2008 Season Preview

Q: So what do you think the chances are for the Jazz this year? I'm excited about Almond (especially if he gets referred to as Almond "Joy")

A: Ummm, the guy that the Jazz just signed (Jason Hart) is a much cheaper version of Derek Fisher (backup point guard, combo guard) so that was a good move. Almond could be a good role player, but the knock on him is that he doesn't play defense. So it looks like we still need a guy to step in as a perimeter defender, and Brewer is the only real shot at that at the two-guard rotation (Gira, CJ, Brewer, and Almond). Signing Mo-Pete would have solidified the two-guard starter spot, but then the Jazz would have squashed the confidence of the four (mentioned above) beyond all recognition.

Q: So do the Jazz have a chance this year?

A: No. Not this year. Last year they exceeded expectations because they faced a two-man choker team in the Rockets, then got lucky when Golden State defeated the Mavs and Stephen Jackson tried to do too much against AK47 (he lost that series for them). Then they were overmatched against the Spurs (as was everybody else). So people will expect them to go far. But I expect them to lose in the second round (maybe the first) next season, with Phoenix, San Antonio or Dallas winning it all. Then the following year, 2008-09 will be the year (Deron's 4th year, lower expectations, Memo playing in a contract year, and Boozer out to prove something, and who knows if we will have AK) but not this year, but the following year, will be the Jazz' real shot at the Finals. They won't get past a hungry Phoenix or Dallas team in the playoffs this year.

Q: So will we even make the playoffs this year? Do you think the pick up of Durrant in Seattle or Oden in Portland will kill our division right away?

A: Nah, Denver is still more dangerous than those two teams. So the Jazz and Nuggets should have a tough time battling it out for the top spot in the division and the winner of the division will get the 4 spot (just behind Dallas, Phoenix, and San Antonio) and heck, I think the Rockets will be fine next year with the new up-tempo offense that Rick Adelman installs (plus they traded for a real point guard by giving up Juwan Howard to get Mike James from Minny), so the seeding will almost be identical to last year with

1. Dallas
2. Phoenix
3. San Antonion

4. Houston
5. Utah
6. Denver

7. Golden State
8. Lakers/Clippers

So that should be the seeding in 08. And Utah may not make it past the first round, depending how they finish 4-6. This is why the NBA isn't as exciting as the NFL. In an 82-game schedule with guaranteed contracts, there are few surpises. Even if you get a sleeper (see Toronto, and Seattle two years ago) they don't make it past the first round against better teams.

Thursday, June 28, 2007

Kicking and Hookers

I noticed the other night while playing kickball with you that you chose to wear one shoe to kick the ball. You actually did it the opposite way I remember a lot of football kickers did it back in the day in that you kicked the ball with your shoe foot rather than your bare foot (much like the way Uter did it on the Springfield pee-wee football team on Simpsons). Your choice confirmed something I've always sort of believed: of course you get more power in your kick when you're wearing a shoe! Were all those bare-footed kickers in the 80s completely misguided? If not, why don't we see bare-footed kickers now? Same issue with the sky hook. Nobody really sky hooks anymore. Why? Is it because a defense was found against it, nobody remembers how to do it or it's too boring?

  • Yeah, Barekicking the football was a thing of the past and it hasn't come back. Kickers today will wear different types of shoes for each foot, but they still wear two shoes.

    As far as the skyhook is concerned, it's a huge concern that nobody is using it anymore. Kareem dominated and stayed in basketball for 20 years with that shot. The fact that not one big man since 1988 has tried to make it work is unbelievable. If you could shoot 50% with that shot you could be next one. It's crazy to think that Shawn Bradley never developed that shot, since he was to slow and skinny to get past Shaq,he could have used it to his advantage.

Wednesday, June 27, 2007

BYU Football Thoughts

Q: What do you think about BYU's football team's chances this fall?
  • Well, we are defending conference champs...We lost Beck, Harline, Coats, Cameron Jensen and Brown... but we do get the Utes at home along with Arizona.. I'd say we have a good chance at going undefeated at home once again, so I don't see us losing any of the games. I think it (renewing your season tickets) is a good purchase...

Q: What about the QB position?

  • It's Max Hall. He beat out Cade Cooper (?) in spring tryouts. I think he'll be good. We miss a lot of key seniors, but I think we still have enough to win the conference.
  • I think he is a transfer from Snow, or maybe Cade Cooper is, I can't keep my QBs straight. It should be on in the archives around March-April. There was a QB battle in spring camp for the starter spot and Max Hall won.

Monday, June 25, 2007

NBA Draft 2007

Q: What are you thoughts on the NBA Draft this Thursday?
  • Hmmmm, the draft is on Thursday... I think it is a very deep draft, but I hate the lineup of the top 10 (as far as teams go). I think Oden and Durrant are future superstars, but why give them to Seattle (moving) and Portland (jailblazers)... I think one of those guys could have helped the Hawks. And why not bail out the Celtics... Or give the Knicks a higher pick to make things interesting... Or reward the 76ers for not purposely tanking... I dunno. I hope that one of the picks 3-12 becomes a superstar. Kind of like how Dwayne Wade became an instant all-star at No. 5 behind Carmelo and Lebron...

Q: Some people are calling this the deepest draft in a long time. Who do you take at numbers 3 - 6?

  • Hmmm, I would go with:
    3) Horford. He has a polished offensive game.
    4) Conley Jr: I actually don't think he's top 5, but his stock has gone was up lately.
    5) Brendan Wright, NC
    6) Chinese dude (this guy will get picked way too high)

Q: You think the celtics will pass on Yi? What about Corey Brewer?

  • Yeah, it's a really unpredictable draft after the number 3 pick. I do know that Yi and Conley Jr will go too high, I guess Brewer is quality, but he wasn't even on anyone's radar until the Final Four, so that worries me a little. I guess if he is as good as a defender as everyone says he is, he should get drafted top 5.... I think that 4-13 is really a crap shoot. All quality players available, but who will be the gem (KG, D-Wade, Kobe) who will emerge on a winning team. It should be interesting who the Bulls pick up at Number 9 (from the Knicks)... The Bulls are already loaded, but they have ZERO superstars. I think they should give the Lakers whomever they want for Kobe, but with the remaining players after the trade Kobe PLUS leftovers and Ben Wallaces rebounding could win the East.

Q: Who do you think has the best chance of being the "sleeper" superstar? What about Acie Law IV. I mean just for the dudes jersey shouldn't you draft him?

  • Hmmm, I dunno who the sleeper is... The Chinese guy will be picked on his sleeper (TUP Tremendous Upside Potential) alone. But Law is a great choice. People say that Atlanta will pass on Conley at 3, then pick up Law at 13... I think the sleeper would have been Hibbert of Georgetown (7'3'') but he pulled out of the draft. I hear that the pasty white guy (Aaron Gray of Pitt) who looks like lurp, is actually ripped underneath his shirt... but I dunno who is the sleeper. I mean Dwayne Wade led his team to the Final Four, so maybe someone like Jeff Green would be the sleeper, but I never really watched him much. But Law IV, Aaron Afflalo and proven seniors are actually supposed to slide to the end of the first round, so maybe one of them will turn out to be as good as Josh Howard is on the Mavs... I would stay away from Big Baby Glen Davis forever... That guy is NOT sane in the membrane.
  • Yeah, I think the Sleeper will be the Brandan Wright guy of North Carolina, I've decided. And I don't think Joaquim Noah will do anything in the pros, he will be a hustle guy on the boards and blocks, but offensive game is atrocious... Worse than Anthony Mason back in the day.

Q: New rumor today: KG to LA. Possible? With or without Kobe?

  • Hmmmm.... LA doesn't have any trading chips outside of Kobe, so it would probably have to be Kobe. But Kobe wouldn't want to be in Minnesota, so it seems pretty far fetched. But those are the two biggest names on the trading block, but I never imagined them being traded for each other. I still think KG for Amare is the best bet, but I dunno if that will happen. I think Phoenix should do it just to lock up the 2008 title, may as well get one before Nash retires.