Thursday, March 13, 2008

The Top 20 Hang Out List

Alright. We have a mission, we are compiling a list of cool "celebrities" that would be guys (and perhaps the token chick that's just one of the guys) that we would want to hang out with. The Goal: 100 names of celebrities, actors, athletes, entertainers, musicians, comedians, writers or just anyone famous who you could see hanging out with (watching the game, playing some Xbox, shooting the breeze, etc).

I stole this idea from Rhett and Jon. I guess there are a few stipulations. No mega stars. And besides, would you really wanna hang with the Michael Jordan, Tom Cruise, Bono type? Not for me. You could call the people on this list on a Friday night to come play cards and they might actually be available.

In fact, Jimmy Kimmel hosts a huge BBQ/party every Sunday during the NFL season that the Sports Guy and Adam Corolla attend. They have become a part of a new and upcoming Brat Pack. None of these guys are young or even major players in Hollywood, but just that fact that some of these people actually hang out gives you the idea of what we are shooting for. I don't think I could get an exact order of top 100, so in no particular order. And remember, feedback is wanted.

1. Mike Judge - Creator of "Beavis & Butthead," "King of the Hill," "Office Space" and "Idiocracy." Anybody who could come up with the commentary that "Beavis and Butthead" provided to music videos is a shoe-in. Not to mention he gave us the funniest movie of the last decade with "Office Space" and he's from Albuquerque, which explains his humor perfectly.

2. Luke Wilson - Actor from "Old School." I know a guy who knew a guy who went to a party in Park City during Sundance a few years back. He found a room away from the party where he watched hockey with some chill guy for a few hours. He discovered later that it was Luke Wilson. Luke watches hockey. He gets the nod over Vince Vaughn (talks too much) and his brother Owen Wilson (didn't try to commit suicide.)

3. David Grohl - Foo Fighters front man, Nirvana drummer. SIDE NOTE: Have you noticed that the Foo Fighters have been around since 1995?!?!?! And just now I can type that he is the face of Foo Fighters (13 years of hard work) before the drummer of Nirvana (3 years in the limelight). Congrats Dave on finally breaking out of Kurt Cobain's shadow. Round of applause, please.

4. Jim Gaffigan - Stand up comic (Hot pocket, Pale Force, pale Mormon looking fellow from the Sierra Mist commercials). He slightly edges Brian Regan because I think that Regan would want all the attention in the room because his comedy requires a lot of yelling. HEY GUYS! I GOT A JOKE FOR YA! And sorry girls, dudes wouldn't want to hang with Dane Cook. Trust me.

5. Adam Corolla - "The Man Show" and "Love Lines" - Adam had his own show on Comedy Central and it was 30 minutes of the best blandness ever. By every account, he is one of the funniest humans alive. He can talk about straws and make it funny.

6. Bill Simmons aka The Sports Guy from - My favorite writer of all-time. Although I wish he could just sit there and type because his high-pitched voice is just unacceptable.

7. Michael Cera - Actor from "Superbad" and "Juno." Also played George Michael from "Arrested Development." He's just a funny kid and he knows how to apply the awkward pause better than anybody in Hollywood.

8. Paul Rudd - Actor from "Clueless," "Knocked Up," and "Anchorman." He has really come a long way from his days in "Clueless" since he joined forces with Judd Apatow. He beats out Jonah Hill (too loud) and Seth Rogan (too weird). Plus he was unforgettable with his performance in "Anchorman." I'm officially nominating him for Best Supporting Comedy Actor of All-Time.

9. Seth Green - Actor from "Can't Hardly Wait," "Italian Job" and creator of "Robot Chicken." Some people might find him a little irritating, but you have include at least one nerdy/girly type in the group.

10. Chuck Klosterman - Pop Culture Guru and Author of "Sex, Drugs and Cocoa Puffs." Speaking of nerdy, he embodies the uber intellectual nerd and he could be a little toward the end of the list of guys to invite, but he makes the cut because he is a die-hard basketball and football fan. Plus, anyone who can write a 250-page book (Fargo: Rock City) talking about how sweet 80s metal gets an automatic bid.

11. Danny McBride - Actor in "Hot Rod" and "Pineapple Express". Has given us one-liners like "This is my hat now!" or "I know, right!". He is currently the funniest man in Hollywood, hands down. Here is a picture of Danny McBride (left) spraying Bill Hader (right).

12. Bill Hader - Current "SNL" selection - Andy Samberg gets all the credit with his Digital Shorts and the "Hot Rod" movie, but Bill isn't always making faces and does some amazing impersonations that gives him the nod.

13. Kevin Nealon - Early 90s "Saturday Night Live" Weekend Update Anchor - I was trying to think of someone from the dream team of the early 90s "Saturday Night Live" all-stars, and ended up choosing the guy who ended up having a career dud. He could possibly be confused as looking like Bob Saget, but Chris Farley, Adam Sandler, David Spade, Phil Hartman and Mike Meyers all possessed flaws that makes me not want to invite them over.

14. Charles Oakley - Former New York Knicks Player/Enforcer. (Pictured) I was thinking about Shaq for this spot, but his ego might get in the way of wanting to hang out with Average Joe (yes I just referred to me in the 3rd person). Plus, I award Oakley major points because nobody would f--- with you if he was in your entourage.

15. Adalius Thomas - Linebacker New England Patriots - He gets the nod because he and CB Gary Baxter were the coolest players I knew on the Baltimore Ravens squad in 2003. Being a sixth round draft pick, he's not too full of himself.

16. Billie Joe Armstrong - Green Day. I haven't seen enough interviews to make a full opinion and the whole eye makeup thing is a little weird. I imagine the bass player Mike Dirnt would be more chill. But hey at least Billie Joe isn't as peculiar as Rivers Cuomo from Weezer.

TOKEN "Just One of the Guys" GIRLS:
WARNING: I don't fully understand girl world, but these are some that I would have over for the game.

17. Amanda Bynes - Actress from "She's The Man" and "Sydney White." She's 21, so don't think I am a sicko. I just think the two movies mentioned above show how funny and quirky she really is.

18. Rachel McAdams - Actress from "Wedding Crashers" and "Mean Girls." She scores major comedy points, and I think she's Canadian.

19. Anna Faris - Actress from "Scary Movie" and "Just Friends." Frickin' hilarious

20. Kristen Bell (right) - aka Veronica Mars. So hot, and I read she's pretty chill.

Tuesday, March 11, 2008

Back to Sports...March Madness and NBA Playoffs Loom

Ahhhh... The post Super Bowl drag is over. The month of February is notoriously slow in the world of sports. The only thing of value is NBA All-Star Weekend. It was one of my favorite sporting events growing up, but it has lost a lot of value over the years, and it hasn't even been on network television for years since its demotion to cable's TNT. Although TNT does provide the best NBA analysis and studio coverage, not everybody tunes into TNT for sporting events.

Now it's time for March Madness. March Madness is the best sporting postseason available. Although the best team doesn't always win the title, it provides the most drama. We got 64 teams (the new 65th team doesn't count even though I learned it happened because our local Mountain West Conference being formed after the split from the WAC) and it's pure bracket winner take all.

Most people would say that college sports are the best because the players "play for the love of the game" unlike spoiled professional athletes that get paid millions of dollars to play a recreational game, but I actually do like NBA ball better. The talent is supreme, the games are higher-scoring, and it's better for television.

Although college has the true "hustle" factor going its way, the games are extra sloppy with kids diving everywhere for loose balls, trying to draw garbage charge fouls to impress their tyrant coaches and putting bricks galore from the high school three-point line. This is where guys can get a scholarship shooting 40 percent or less from the free-throw line. Even Shaq can hit within the 50-60 percent range.

But brackets come out on Sunday, and everybody loves brackets. Everybody! And sure enough, some idiot in your office pool wins every year because they picked the teams that sounded cute. Last year, I tried one bracket where I just picked the favorites from every game, and it didn't win. But hey, it's fun; it's good times. By the time the Final Four rolls around, it usually involves four teams I couldn't care less about, so I usually don't watch the Saturday games. But usually someone throws a decent party on Championship Monday and the socializing is good, but the game is usually extra, extra sloppy for a title game.

CBS still has to get rid of Billy Packer, but that'll never happen because he now has a special "cantankerous" appeal where people will watch to see what comes out of his mouth next, much like John Madden for the NFL and Bill Walton for the NBA. But that's a whole different entry in and of itself.

But anyway, happy brackets this week. Go BYU! May you finally get out of the first round.

I am actually much more excited for the upcoming NBA playoffs and how the seeding will occur. The NBA used to have a best-of-five playoff format for the first round, and when they switched it to best-of-seven, I thought it was a terrible idea. But now with the the Western Conference have the top-8 teams in with a projected 52 wins under each belt and only 5 games separating No. 1 through No. 8, it should be just as exciting as March Madness and probably even a lot more memorable.

Now if the Jazz can find a way to avoid the Spurs and the Lakers, it should make for some good basketball.