Sucked In

I haven't written much since the Jazz lost to the Lakers in the NBA playoffs. My last blog entry was pretty much me being a sore loser and bitter against the Jazz and the league. I didn't watch any of the Eastern and Western Conference Finals because I was too bitter to watch. When the league got the NBA Finals pairing they had been craving since Jordan beat my Jazz in 1998, I refused to watch.

But due to some bad weather, and not having anything else to do, I sat down to watched game 3 of the NBA Finals last night. I don't know why. I guess I just wanted to hang out with some friends. But there was really no drama involved. We all knew the Lakers were going to win. There was no way the NBA would allow the Celtics to take a 3 games to none lead and suck all the excitement out of the air.

Fortunately for us viewers, it was not a blowout. The Celtics managed to keep the game close despite the turr-ible games from Kevin Garnett and Paul Pierce. But in the end, the Lakers got a couple of calls in the final two minutes to secure the victory. I'm not saying the refs were fixed, because the Lakers deserved to win the game due to Garnett's and Pierce's poor outings. But, the only drama of the game is that the Celtics kept it closer than we expected.

I've come to learn that a seven-game series really has no drama. It's just a chance for the league to sell 5-7 games instead of one. We all know how it's going to play out. And somewhere during games 4-6 there is a turning point, where one of the teams (usually the favored one) does just enough, or gets a lucky enough break to win a pivotal game and suck the life out of the other team (usually the underdog). So we as fans, commit ourselves to two weeks of television for one made or missed shot, one bad bounce or one bad call.

I'm not saying it's bad. At least football does all of this in one game, and doesn't spread it out over two weeks like a bad reality show. Think about it -- there is never any real drama in a reality show. We all know what's going to happen, but we sit through seven episodes of yelling to get that one pivotal moment. But somehow the networks "create drama" in every show where "someone is going to get kicked off." Oh NO! But we all know who the drama queen is that is leaving.

That's what the NBA Playoffs have become. One big reality show, like "American Idol," "Survivor," or even "Rock of Love." We all know who is going to be in the final 2-3 from the start, and we sit through two months of obvious crap just to see which one of the 2-3 gets to be "voted" champion.

At least the NFL is more like a movie. You get a week's worth of previews, but then you get one movie to sit through on Sunday that is provided with real drama, then you're done and on to the next week of previews before the next "feature presentation."

And that why the NFL is king. It's Hollywood versus bad cable reality shows. And we all hate reality shows even when we do get sucked in, because we know they are cheap and we hate admitting our guilty pleasures. At least with movies, you don't have to be ashamed to admit you like them.

Do Sports Love You Back?

In a movie that came out a few years ago that I actually never watched, "Fever Pitch" (that coincidentally was released the same year that the Boston Red Sox actually broke an 86-year-old curse), there is a scene where the main character, Ben, played by Jimmy Fallon (which is reason No. 1 that I never saw the dumb movie), is talking with a kid about some girl trouble that he is having. Ben is completely and utterly obsessed with the Boston Redsox (reason No. 3 that I didn't see the movie). He owns season tickets, and every year baseball consumes several months of his life, which is why he became a teacher. Anyway, he is having trouble with his relationship because he won't commit to the girl played by Drew Barrymore (reason No. 2 that I didn't see the movie), like he does to the Boston Redsox. The scene in the movie ends with the boy asking Ben, "You love the Red Sox, but have they ever loved you back?" With this question, Ben gets peeved, and says, "Who do you think you are, Dr. Phil? Go on, get outta here!" I hear that it's a pretty funny scene, but I doubt it because JImmy Fallon probably looks at the camera and laughs at himself, cause that's what you do in skit comedy if you were SNL in the early 90s which is why it probably didn't happen for him to become the next Adam Sandler or any other SNL cast member who could've had a remotely decent movie career. But I'll save that for another day because I could get into an entire argument on why I hate chick flicks that use sports to suck guys into watching them with their wife. If I am going to watch a stupid chick flick, why not just go all the way and watch "Becoming Jane" or "The Notebook" or anything that involves a wedding because sports and chick flicks do not mix. Do you hear me "Forget Paris," "For The Love of the Game" and "Fever Pitch"?

The reason I bring up this scene, is because lately, I've been growing more and more disappointed with sports, and I feel that I'm not getting back what I put in. I get so emotionally invested in teams and outcomes, that I think it takes a toll. I've heard a joke that says for all the years that raucous Mormons (you go Rich Bucher of ESPN.com) save in our life for not drinking and smoking, we lose those years cheering for the Utah Jazz and BYU Football.

In fact, this year, I expected the Utah Jazz to lose to the Lakers because, why get your hopes up? The Lakers have a higher seed, and as we all know, Jerry Sloan has never coached a team that pulled an upset over a team seeded higher than the Jazz. Sure we've lost about 5-10 of those series (where the Jazz were seeded higher than the team that beats us), but it's never happened for us. But since his teams always "try hard" he gets to keep his job for 21 years because Larry Miller - aka the cheapskate - can underpay him compared to coaches with similar winning percentages.

Why do I do this to myself? Year after year, I will get emotionally invested in a team, only to be let down. The first team I ever followed was San Francisco when I was 9-years old
and I watched them win the Superbowl. I lived in Washington state, what did I know? I just knew they won a big game and Joe Montana was clutch. Had the Cincinnati Bengals won that game, I probably would have thought the names Boomer and Ickey, but then I would have hated the next 20 years as a Bengals fan.

I guess I could have been like all the Chicago Bulls fans and jumped off the bandwagon once Michael Jordan retired.

After all this venting, I am almost done. The glass is almost empty. The light is on. I am this close to just getting away from sports and focusing solely on music. I dunno if Average Joe has it in him, but man, it sucks.

Quick Notes

Just a couple of random sports thoughts before tonight's pivotal Game 5 between the Utah Jazz and the Los Angeles Lakers.



1) Lebron James vs. Mommy: Lebron James is "The Man." He has been hyped since his junior year of high school basketball and has totally lived up to the hype. He was awesome as an 18-year old rookie. He carried a crappy team with a crappy coach to the Finals last year over a veteran Detroit team. And on Monday, after he was football tackled into the stand next to his mama (the day after Mother's Day), she immediately stood up and mixed it up with Paul Pierce and Kevin Garnett. You can see it clear as day as Lebron yells at her to "Sit yo a$ down!" Only Lebron! My new hero.

2) NBA Ref Joey Crawford vs. The Spurs: Joey Crawford is "The Man." Twenty seconds ago, I would have said the dude is out of control after his scuffle and finger poking (way out of line) with San Antonio Spurs coach Greg Poppovich last night in New Orleans. This 20-year veteran ref was banned from the NBA for a year after taking it "too personal" with league MVP Tim Duncan. But he was re-instated, but I can't believe they have him reffing Spurs PLAYOFF games after what happened in the past. An idiot move by the league, but then I got to thinking... Joey Crawford is the only referee that won't put up with the antics of the "all-ugly" Spurs with their flopping and whining. Even he can't take it, so he goes out of his way to make their lives miserable because acting and soccer antics cannot be allowed in NBA basketball. So Joey Crawford, this one's one me! Down with the Spurs.

3) The Worst Franchise in the History of Professional Sports: The New York Knicks. Stephon Marbury wants to be a New York Knick again, suprise surprise. Marbury made $20 million last season after missing more than a month for his father's funeral. I think we should nominate an all "Play-When-I-Feel-Like-It" NBA team. My first team includes Stephon Marbury, Vince Carter, Tim Thomas, Zack Randolph and Jermaine O'Neal. Watch out Tim Thomas, Carmelo Anthony is gunning to take your spot next year.

4) Kobe vs. Jordan: I'm saving an entire article on "Why Kobe will never be MJ even though he really, really tries to be" after his bad back antics on Sunday. If there was ever an attempt of re-creating of the famous "flu game" when Jordan torched the Jazz for 38 while "suffering" from flu-like symptoms in 1997, then this was it. Kobe picked which possessions he used his "bad back" as an excuse for shooting 13-33 (including 1-10 from 3-point territory). But mad kudos to the Lakers for sending that game into OT.

5) Derek Fisher: If the Lakers win this series, the difference will be Derek Fisher. He is playing lights out. I am actually glad he asked out of his Jazz contract. I didn't want to spend $7 million a year for a backup point guard until 2010 to wear a Jazz uniform. Deron Wililams and Ronnie Brewer will never have flourished with him still in the lineup, and I'd rather have Korver's 3-point shooting over his. But TNT revealed that he still has to fly to New York every month or so for his daughter's cancer treatments. So, he asked out of Salt Lake to be closer to better medical facilities for his daugher, and then chose the Lakers (more minutes and his original team) because L.A. is closer to New York??????? Good riddance.

6) City of Boston: The more I read The Sports Guy on ESPN.com (my favorite sports writer), the more I come to dislike the city of Boston and their "rabid" fans. But only in Boston could the local newspaper (The Boston Herald) leak a faulty story about videotaping the 2001 Rams walk-through regarding Spygate the week of the Superbowl. Wasn't The Boston Herald working on the 19-0 book??? Serves you right that the Patriots lost to the Giants. Had that leak come from the The New York Times or New York Daily News, that's in"credible" (pun intended) journalism to get into the head of the Patriots. But for that distraction to come from your hometown newspaper? Wow. Really, it couldn't have waited three more days until after the Superbowl so that ESPN could torture us with three straight months of Matt Walsh stories?

7) Tom Brady vs. ESPN: Mad props to New England QB Tom Brady for calling out ESPN, saying that ESPN is like MTV without the music videos, ESPN has become "Sportscenter" without highlights. I know ESPN has room to fill, but I don't need 14 different "experts" (aka people on the Disney payroll) telling me about the same story during "Sportscenter." I'd rather watch more in-depth baseball highlights, and that's saying a lot considering how much I hate baseball now. I get it, Barry Bonds might go on trial in about 6-12 months, but I don't need 10 straight minutes, and three different legal analysts explaining it to me like I am still in the second grade. ESPN's sports monopoly needs a competitor NOW because I am getting the creepy late 90's feeling of Microsoft lately.

8) BYU Football: A high-five to Bronco Mendenhall and the Cougs for suspending senior RB Manase Tonga for the entire year for being academically ineligible. Luckily for Cougar fans, BYU is incredibly deep at running back (with Harvey Unga, Fui Vakapuna, and J.J. Di Luigi), but I do believe that Bronco would have made the call to suspend him even if it had been starting QB Max Hall. That's how strongly I feel about Bronco and the direction the Cougar program is heading.

9) Utah Blaze: In the third year of their Arena Football League, the Blaze started 0-9 and fired and cut every coach and player in site, but they have finally put together two straight wins, and hilariously enough, are still mathmatically in the playoff hunt. Note to AFL: If you want people to take your league seriously, do not allow this to happen! But I can get you a sweet hookup on tix (75 cents) for the final two games if you are interested...

10) I don't have a tenth rant, I just thought a list of 1-9 wouldn't work.

Now that I've gotten that off my chest... Go Jazz!

Ladies and Gentlemen: The NBA's All-Ugly team

And this photo doesn't even include Bruce Bowen...


So there are several topics to discuss after one week of the 2nd round of the 2008 NBA playoffs. For one, the commercial with the split screen from players of the opposing teams reading the same teleprompter has already lost its luster. The only cool one remaining is the one with Baron Davis and Adam Sandler promoting the new Adam Sandler movie "Zohan."

But the main focal point of today is, of the eight teams remaining in the playoffs, none of them are a runaway leader. Before the playoffs started most "experts" would have predicted a NBA Finals matchup between the Lakers and the Celtics (because it takes a genius expert to pick the No. 1 seed in both the East and the West).

All teams remaining have weaknesses and they are as follows --

Boston: Can't seem to win a road game. The Atlanta freakin' Hawks tooks this team to seven games in Round 1 because they couldn't take care of business on the road. Bad coaching and "non-clutch" players could spell doom for this team in these playoffs. Lucky for them, they hold home court advantage all they way to the Finals.

Cleveland: This team has the advantage of having the "best player on the floor" until the NBA Finals, but Lebron is having a so-so Round 2. The rest of the team is average, and the coach is below average. The only thing he's done right is center the entire offense around Lebron, which Paul Silas couldn't figure out, which is why Chuckles is no longer coaching in the NBA.

Detroit: The best all-around starting 5 in playoffs with a decent bench, but an injury to former Finals MVP Chauncey Billups, and crappy coaching with Flip Saunders could see this team lose in the Eastern Conference Finals once again.

Orlando: A great coach with Stan "Sonic the Hedgehog" Van Gundy has taken this team really far, but without a premier point guard or interior offensive game, and some bad breaks in Round 2 have this team on the latter edge of the saying "live by the 3, die by the 3."

New Orleans: They did everybody a favor by getting the lil' general "Avery Johnson" fired (even though the guy won 70% of his games), but their confidence was shaken over the weekend. Inexperience and youth may derail this team that is one veteran player away from going to the finals.

San Antonio: The All-Ugly team doesn't represent the ugly mugs, but the ugly style of play as well. But they do have a great coach, the best post-player in the league. Age is a factor, but nobody seems to have told the Spurs that. I can't believe Bruce Bowen got the nod over Shane Battier for the All-Defensive First Team. I guess grabbing, shoving and tripping are now legal in the NBA rulebook, unless you do that to Duncan, Manu, Tony Parker and the soccer-playing defending champions.

L.A. Lakers: Everyone has already crowned them the champs out of the West, except this team hasn't gotten past the first-round since Shaq left, and they are terribly banged up right now. Kobe just hurt his back. Andrew Bynum, Chris Mihm, and Trevor Ariza are out. And, Utah has shown that their bench really isn't all that. Odom AND Gasol have to show up every night, or they are doomed. I think Derek Fisher had more to do to the turnaround of this team more than Kobe's MVP season, and I don't even like Fisher.

Utah Jazz: This team could get to the NBA finals, but as a lifelong Jazz fan, I cannot expect it. I suspect the refs will help the Lakers advance to the next round. Man I hope the Hornets take care of the Spurs. But I feel that with our lineup (from 1-9), the Jazz have the best top-to-bottom rotation in the league, and luckily we have a go-to-player in Deron Williams, something the Jazz never had with Stockton and Malone.

I'll say it here instead of committing and entire blog entry to it. Sloan isn't the greatest coach ever. I know he usually gets the most out of his players. I know that he's been in Utah for 20 years and Miller will never get rid of him, but the guy has never beaten a higher seed, ever. We needed a No. 1 seed to get to the Finals with Stockton and Malone. We have lost our share of playoff series to teams of lower seeds (namely Houston in 1996 and Dallas in 2001), but never have the Jazz won a series that they weren't supposed to win. We've always been competitive, which is why he has kept his job, but we've never sealed the deal. Unless Deron pulls off a miracle, I don't see it happening this year or any year until we have the best record in the league (which could easily happen next year with the current lineup we have)

Ex-Suns Head Coach Mike D'Antoni would have been a much better fit in Utah than in New York, but I guess the Jazz wouldn't rebound the way they do if he were coach.

Ben Folds, Kyle Korver, The Office & The Spurs

1) Last week, I had the experience of attending the Ben Folds concert in Salt Lake. I don't consider myself a Ben Folds fan, but a friend invited me so I went. I'd have to say that nothing "rocked" but I guess that shouldn't mean the music wasn't good.

All my friends that went kept saying to me "Wasn't that amazing?" I dunno, I guess. He's a good musician, and his originality of rockin' on the keyboard and singing conversations that took place when his friends got high on acid are something that he brought to the forefront of the music industry.

But I left the show thinking, I didn't love it. The funny thing is: I should be a Ben Folds fan. I have the nerdy white boy look with the glasses, and I EVEN PLAY PIANO. But I guess this nerdy white boy who absolutely looks like a Ben Folds fan is really a rocker trapped into a nerd body. I'm a fan of nerd rock with Weezer, but not Ben Folds. Why? I dunno, I just can't put my finger on it.

2) Same thing goes for Kyle Korver of the Utah Jazz. I should like Kyle Korver. He is a little known player from a small school, who got drafted in the second round of the NBA draft, but has made a nice career for himself with his 3-point shooting skills.

He's an amazing person off the court. He has a good Christian background, and I just discovered that he donates almost one-third of his salary to charity. He's the best shooter the Jazz have had since Jeff Hornacek.

I don't get it. I'm a Jazz fan. I love a story of a good guy off the court who develops into a fan favorite for his ability to come off the bench and knock down 3s. But I can't explain, there's some reason I am not a fan of Kyle Korver.

3) The Office: I realize that everything evolves. The NFL has evolved a ton from what is was 50 years ago. The NBA has evolved. My debit card can now be "swiped" without even being swiped thanks to Visa payWave. One thing I noticed this week, but it never really dawned on me: comedy evolves.

I don't know why it took so long for this to hit me, but comedy is constantly evolving. I was watching "Law and Order: SVU" and Robin Williams was playing a pretty demented dude. Isn't he supposed to be a comedian? Well, all my friends agree that Robin Williams is not funny, but I guess older people thought he was funny when he was on "Mork and Mindy." Now he only gets creepy roles.

But this is why I don't laugh when I watch the "Saturday Night Live" episodes from the 70s and 80s. This is why Adam Sandler is no longer funny. Maybe this is why Dave Chappelle went AWOL after he signed for huge money with Comedy Central. He knew that he couldn't keep up with the ever evolving world of comedy, or maybe he just really, really like drugs...

Anyway, the new wave of comedy seems to fall under the awkward category, hence the new popularity for the NBC show "The Office." Don't get me wrong, I'll watch "The Office" with friends, but I don't go out of my way for it. Maybe this is the same reason my receding hairline grows every day. I can no longer keep up with the new trends in comedy, fashion and music.

I should like "The Office", but for some inexplicable reason, I don't.

4) At last, that brings us to something that pretty much we all hate, but I should like it: San Antonio Spurs basketball. I HATE THE SPURS. I think everybody hates the Spurs for what they have done to basketball this decade, and beating our critically acclaimed Phoenix Suns three of the past four playoffs.

I should like the Spurs. They execute better in the half court than anyone else. They have the best power forward of all-time, and that's coming from a die-hard life-long Karl Malone/Utah Jazz fan. Tim Duncan is the best defender in the post since Hakeem (that's right, Mr. Kevin Garnett). They have excellent coaching, and the best driving point guard since Kevin Johnson. They have role players who know their roles, and they have collected four NBA championships in nine seasons.

But like everybody else in America right now, I hate the Spurs. I hate the fact that Tim Duncan, Tony Parker or Manu Ginobili can fall down on their own and draw a foul; yet Bruce Bowen is allowed to pull, grab, elbow, shove and even kick the opponents best player without a whistle being blown, and people call it good defense.

After watching what happened in Game 5 the other night (even though the Phoenix Suns have nobody to blame but themselves after that loss), I'd be embarrassed to be a San Antonio Spurs fan. They make me so mad, I wanted to kick my cat after the game (don't worry, I didn't).

So there you have it, four things I should like, but for some reason, I don't. I've tried to explain the best I can, but I still feel that I can't give you a logical reason as to why I don't like them.

It's Playoff Time

Dear Readers,

I apologize for being so lazy these past few months. Now that the NBA playoffs have arrived, I will try to update my blog a few times per week. I hope you enjoy the entries.

With apologies,

Average Joe

April 21, 2008

The NBA playoffs are finally here. They're probably the most anticipated playoffs ever, at least for the Western Conference. Every team in the West notched 50 wins (first time ever) and with the first round now being a best-of-seven format, it's more exciting than ever.

I was originally against the first round being a best-of-seven series because I thought it reduced the chance for any upsets, but thanks to the Golden State Warriors and their historic upset of the No. 1 seed Dallas Mavericks last season, the first round only got better. Unfortunately, the Eastern Conference has to play a best-of-seven as well.

It's kind of sad, because you would think that the Eastern Conference would have a bright future or the chance to make the turnaround, but it hasn't and I don't think it will for another decade. In the NFL, the NFC used to dominate the AFC for something like 12 straight Superbowl wins in the 80s and 90s. But now the AFC is considered the cream of the crop even though the Giants pulled the upset last season. I guess the Eastern Conference used to dominate the Western Conference when Jordan was in his prime (he won 6 titles for the East in the 90s). But I didn't consider the Eastern Conference deep at that time. They had Jordan, but the rest wasn't that good...

Even now with Durrant going to the okay Sonics and Greg Oden going to the already talented Portland no longer "Jail" Blazers, the West appears to have the future. The Lakers are good for another five years. The Jazz and Hornets are set up for the future with Deron Williams and Chris Paul. Even the Warriors are relatively young. The only old teams without a future plan are the Spurs, Mavericks, and Suns, but they can be replaced with the Sonics, Warriors and Blazers for all I care.

But the East, yikes! The Pistons will be okay. The Celtics will only be good for another two years, tops. The Raptors are talented, but shouldn't win any titles anytime soon. The Nets won't be good for a while. The Cavs are only good as long as LeBron wants to be there. The Wizards aren't contending for any titles, and the young Hawks and 76ers are still the Hawks and 76ers. And that brings us to the biggest mess of all -- The New York Knicks.

This team needs to cut both Stephon Marbury and Zack Randolph. They have no cap room nor draft picks until 2011. They finally fired Isiah Thomas as GM and coach, but why are they are keeping him on as an "adviser" that makes $5 million a season? I don't get it. Why not get rid of the wart completely? How did he keep his job this long? Wasn't there away to get rid of his contract and fire him after the sexual harrassment case last summer? Shouldn't there be a legal cause to dump him due to breach of contract with that huge mess? I don't know of very many Americans that would keep their job after costing their company such an ugly lawsuit. He shouldn't even have received the contract extension in the first place. At the time the Knicks were barely holding on the final playoff spot in the Leastern Conference with 25 games to go!!! And then they promptly fell apart and got even worse after getting rid of Steve "I'll ruin a Franchise" Francis.

Wow. Isiah Thomas is living the American Dream. He gets paid full-salary after ruining an entire franchise, gets fired and still keeps a job with a team as a "consultant." What is he going to advise? How to trade for bad players? How to not have any draft picks? How to maintain sexual harassment with the marquee franchise of the NBA? It's just plain wrong that he be associated with the league at all. I know you are a Hall of Fame player, but just leave it at that and go do something else.

The Knicks problems start at the top with their owner, Mr. Dolan. Some billionaire needs to step in and buy the Knicks. Dolan has allowed this mess to go on ever since he took over. Things will only get better once he is gone for good. I know that NBA commissioner David Stern can make this happen. If he can get rid of the Seattle Sonics and allow teams like the Memphis Grizzlies, Charlotte Bobcats, Sacramento Kings and Milwaukee Bucks stay in the league, then he can manage a sale of the Knicks to somebody who actually cares. This is the only way to save his legacy after what he has done to Seattle.

I don't get it. The NFL can't get a team in Los Angeles (a city that doesn't care about pro football, but the second biggest market in the country). The NBA can't fix their marquee franchise from going down the toilet under Mr. Dolan's ownership and the MLB still manages to get record attendance with Bud Selig and the steroids mess. I'm glad I no longer want to work in professional sports.

20-25

Dear readers (all sixof you). We have updated the Top-25 list and hopefully we can double it to the Top-50 of celebrities that you would want to hang out with. The idea of it was that it is a list of people we would hang out with if they were normal people.

The Goal: 100 names of celebrities, actors, athletes, entertainers, musicians, comedians, writers or just anyone with a name who you could see hanging out with (watching the game, playing some Xbox, shooting the breeze, etc).

The Rules:

No Mega Stars. And besides, would you really wanna hang with the Michael Jordan, Tom Cruise, Bono type? Not me. We're lookin' for the guys you could call on a Friday night to come play cards and they might actually be available. We are trying to be somewhat realistic here.

20-21. The rest of Green Day. Says one loyal reader:

Billie Joe was way cool that time Clint and I met him in Park City, but i would probably want to hang out with the whole band. I mean why not? Tre complimented Clint on his jacket when he was just walking by and Mike D. was chill, too.

22. Kaley Cuoco: TV Actress from "Big Bang Theory." Ok, she may be a little out of the league, but she hangs with nerds on the show. Can we all have a cute friend next door?

23. Andrei Kirelenko - Utah Jazz: He's your token foreign guy who would say funny things in English due to lack of translation. He's goofy, and he plays a lot of video games.

24. Jack White - The White Stripes. Two votes were received.

He would be the super interesting, but really eccentric friend. For some reason, I'd love to talk to him and figure out what goes on in his head.

Another reader remarks:

I'd give anything to meet Jack White and have a serious musical discussion with him, but I'm pretty sure he wouldn't be very hang-outable."

25. Tina Fey: Former SNL news anchor, "30 Rock." Personally, I've never been the biggest Tina Fey fan, but anyone who could bring us something as quotable as "Mean Girls" can make this list. Plus, she does a great Sarah Palin. Reader says:

I can't believe I forgot to mention Tina Fey. She's totally at the top of the chicklist, and by chicklist I mean "one of the guys, but is actually a girl" list.

I need a music chick...