Jon here. I've hacked into Joe's blog to inform his readers that we're going to broadcast Joe's bachelor party TONIGHT at about 7.
The windows below should provide you access. If not, just go to the actual link at:
http://www.ustream.tv/channel/thejonblogcam
Live TV : Ustream
Saturday, March 20, 2010
Thursday, March 18, 2010
8 Steps to Protect Your Engagement
So, I'm only seven days away from getting married. I've always heard that it is tough to stay chaste during an engagement because of the temptations of the devil. I'd have to say that tuning things down during the engagement was surprisingly easy, and I am here to share my secrets. We may even give seminars to young adults later on in life and become famous speakers :)
Step One: Make sure that she moves in with her married sister/brother (especially if the sister has young children around). You'll never lack privacy, and it's hard to fine any alone time or alone place.
Step Two: Move in with a roommate who owns his own house, is pretty straight-laced and that you'd be embarrassed to get caught making out around (thanks, Pete!)
Step Three: Buy a house or at least pretend like your gonna buy a house. I've found the house buying process kills a woman's libido because she'll act like she likes the house more than her own fiance.
Step Four: Keep the engagement short. 8-12 weeks is plenty of time to plan a wedding. I don't understand these people that can wait 6-12 months. That's how you ruin a wedding, silly!
Step Five: Get a puppy. A puppy needs constant attention and will pee if you turn your head away for one second. The frustration of training it washes away any raging hormones.
Step Six: If you're still feeling randy, get ANOTHER puppy! We did it (and yes, we are insane)
Step Seven: When you buy the house (see Step 3), make sure it's a fixer upper. The chance for any temptations is low when the carpet smells like a mixture of cat pee, old lady, and cigarette smoke :)
Step Eight: The only serious note of this article, make sure to start praying together the closer you get to the wedding. My friend suggested it and it really works.
In fact, all these steps work so well, that sometimes you wonder if you're libido will magically kick back in the first night of marriage and honeymoon. Don't worry, I'm not worried. I know I'll be fine. I'm Average Joe.
See you all at the wedding!
Step One: Make sure that she moves in with her married sister/brother (especially if the sister has young children around). You'll never lack privacy, and it's hard to fine any alone time or alone place.
Step Two: Move in with a roommate who owns his own house, is pretty straight-laced and that you'd be embarrassed to get caught making out around (thanks, Pete!)
Step Three: Buy a house or at least pretend like your gonna buy a house. I've found the house buying process kills a woman's libido because she'll act like she likes the house more than her own fiance.
Step Four: Keep the engagement short. 8-12 weeks is plenty of time to plan a wedding. I don't understand these people that can wait 6-12 months. That's how you ruin a wedding, silly!
Step Five: Get a puppy. A puppy needs constant attention and will pee if you turn your head away for one second. The frustration of training it washes away any raging hormones.
Step Six: If you're still feeling randy, get ANOTHER puppy! We did it (and yes, we are insane)
Step Seven: When you buy the house (see Step 3), make sure it's a fixer upper. The chance for any temptations is low when the carpet smells like a mixture of cat pee, old lady, and cigarette smoke :)
Step Eight: The only serious note of this article, make sure to start praying together the closer you get to the wedding. My friend suggested it and it really works.
In fact, all these steps work so well, that sometimes you wonder if you're libido will magically kick back in the first night of marriage and honeymoon. Don't worry, I'm not worried. I know I'll be fine. I'm Average Joe.
See you all at the wedding!
Thursday, March 11, 2010
Two weeks to go
Well, not a whole lot to say in the world of sports...
But I am getting married in two weeks to the beautiful Camille Porter. We are also closing on our home in the next 24 hours. It's all crazy and happening so fast.
If you would have asked me six months ago if I was getting married, buying a house, AND having two cats and two dogs, I would not have believed it.
Well, be-lee dat!
Hope to see you all at the wedding in two weeks!
But I am getting married in two weeks to the beautiful Camille Porter. We are also closing on our home in the next 24 hours. It's all crazy and happening so fast.
If you would have asked me six months ago if I was getting married, buying a house, AND having two cats and two dogs, I would not have believed it.
Well, be-lee dat!
Hope to see you all at the wedding in two weeks!
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)