Ahhhhhhhh. Valentine's Day. The day for lovers... couples... people who have someone to spend money on. It's always a silly holiday for those of us who are ridiculously single. We are always looking at our friends with girlfriends and get a little jealous.
The past few Valentine's haven't been that great for me... in fact, a little trainwrecked...
This year: Surprisingly good. Laid low. It's was my niece's 13th birthday so I went out to dinner with their family.
Last year: After a hard day of
delivering flowers, I took the girl I was in love with to my church basketball game and she ended up interested in the star player from my own team!!!
2006: Dumped by my girlfriend that night after cooking her dinner and buying her a bracelet. All she could do was complain the bracelet was too big (like she was saying I thought she was fat.... How is a guys supposed to know wrist size???)... I still think she ended up hooking up with one of her roommates' guy friends who crashed our "candlelight" dinner.
2005: Gave a rose to the girl I ended up falling for after Thanksgiving... I ended up asking her out a few weeks earlier... Needless to say, I never got a second date... but knowing me, I still ended up liking the girl for six more months. Geez, I'm pathetic!
2006: Dumped by my girlfriend that night after cooking her dinner and buying her a bracelet. All she could do was complain the bracelet was too big (like she was saying I thought she was fat.... How is a guys supposed to know wrist size???)... I still think she ended up hooking up with one of her roommates' guy friends who crashed our "candlelight" dinner.2005: Gave a rose to the girl I ended up falling for after Thanksgiving... I ended up asking her out a few weeks earlier... Needless to say, I never got a second date... but knowing me, I still ended up liking the girl for six more months. Geez, I'm pathetic!
2004: Living in Baltimore at the time... unemployed and getting ready to come back West... I don't even think girls knew I was alive...
2003: I had two tickets to see the Jazz play the Wizards. Sports note: This was Michael Jordan's final season. The last chance to see him in person. I went. I had asked some Brazilian chick to the game and she said no 'cause she wanted to spend time with her mom... wow, dissed by a Brazilian! Anyway, I went to the game with my buddy John... they were passing out carnations to people, I went to get one as a joke and the usher denied my request... the geriatric probably thought I was a homo... CAN IT GET ANY WORSE...
I can't remember more damage before that... Oh wait...
2002: Salt Lake City Olympics were in town, I was in like with a girl... she was a ho, we all knew that... I think I gave her a flower or something. We had recently gone on a date to see "Crossroads" because she had the same name as the main actress (who has had a bigger drop in her career than Shawn Kemp) .
2001: My first love had dumped me right before Christmas... I think by this time she was engaged to someone else...
You know what... screw Valentine's Day. It's just a big waste of money on flowers, chocolate's and a time for dudes in relationships for a little guaranteed action, if they follow the trend... when I'm married (some year) my goal will be to get AWESOME ACTION the day before and after just to prove a point...
But there are two awesome, awesome things the sports worlds provides losers who like sports but don't have girls to make up for this faux-holiday: The SI Swimsuit edition, and the dunk contest. Both have lost a lot of flair since the 90s but hey, maybe I can think of a way to combine them into one amazing event to really liven things up... ahem...
2003: I had two tickets to see the Jazz play the Wizards. Sports note: This was Michael Jordan's final season. The last chance to see him in person. I went. I had asked some Brazilian chick to the game and she said no 'cause she wanted to spend time with her mom... wow, dissed by a Brazilian! Anyway, I went to the game with my buddy John... they were passing out carnations to people, I went to get one as a joke and the usher denied my request... the geriatric probably thought I was a homo... CAN IT GET ANY WORSE...
I can't remember more damage before that... Oh wait...
2002: Salt Lake City Olympics were in town, I was in like with a girl... she was a ho, we all knew that... I think I gave her a flower or something. We had recently gone on a date to see "Crossroads" because she had the same name as the main actress (who has had a bigger drop in her career than Shawn Kemp) .2001: My first love had dumped me right before Christmas... I think by this time she was engaged to someone else...
You know what... screw Valentine's Day. It's just a big waste of money on flowers, chocolate's and a time for dudes in relationships for a little guaranteed action, if they follow the trend... when I'm married (some year) my goal will be to get AWESOME ACTION the day before and after just to prove a point...
But there are two awesome, awesome things the sports worlds provides losers who like sports but don't have girls to make up for this faux-holiday: The SI Swimsuit edition, and the dunk contest. Both have lost a lot of flair since the 90s but hey, maybe I can think of a way to combine them into one amazing event to really liven things up... ahem...
I propose a dunk contest by hot athletic chicks in bikinis in a shallow pool with a backboard. I know there are sponsors out there. This is America! The great nation that brought us "The Man Show." (and "Beavis and Butthead"... huh huh...yeah)
