Do Sports Love You Back?

In a movie that came out a few years ago that I actually never watched, "Fever Pitch" (that coincidentally was released the same year that the Boston Red Sox actually broke an 86-year-old curse), there is a scene where the main character, Ben, played by Jimmy Fallon (which is reason No. 1 that I never saw the dumb movie), is talking with a kid about some girl trouble that he is having. Ben is completely and utterly obsessed with the Boston Redsox (reason No. 3 that I didn't see the movie). He owns season tickets, and every year baseball consumes several months of his life, which is why he became a teacher. Anyway, he is having trouble with his relationship because he won't commit to the girl played by Drew Barrymore (reason No. 2 that I didn't see the movie), like he does to the Boston Redsox. The scene in the movie ends with the boy asking Ben, "You love the Red Sox, but have they ever loved you back?" With this question, Ben gets peeved, and says, "Who do you think you are, Dr. Phil? Go on, get outta here!" I hear that it's a pretty funny scene, but I doubt it because JImmy Fallon probably looks at the camera and laughs at himself, cause that's what you do in skit comedy if you were SNL in the early 90s which is why it probably didn't happen for him to become the next Adam Sandler or any other SNL cast member who could've had a remotely decent movie career. But I'll save that for another day because I could get into an entire argument on why I hate chick flicks that use sports to suck guys into watching them with their wife. If I am going to watch a stupid chick flick, why not just go all the way and watch "Becoming Jane" or "The Notebook" or anything that involves a wedding because sports and chick flicks do not mix. Do you hear me "Forget Paris," "For The Love of the Game" and "Fever Pitch"?

The reason I bring up this scene, is because lately, I've been growing more and more disappointed with sports, and I feel that I'm not getting back what I put in. I get so emotionally invested in teams and outcomes, that I think it takes a toll. I've heard a joke that says for all the years that raucous Mormons (you go Rich Bucher of ESPN.com) save in our life for not drinking and smoking, we lose those years cheering for the Utah Jazz and BYU Football.

In fact, this year, I expected the Utah Jazz to lose to the Lakers because, why get your hopes up? The Lakers have a higher seed, and as we all know, Jerry Sloan has never coached a team that pulled an upset over a team seeded higher than the Jazz. Sure we've lost about 5-10 of those series (where the Jazz were seeded higher than the team that beats us), but it's never happened for us. But since his teams always "try hard" he gets to keep his job for 21 years because Larry Miller - aka the cheapskate - can underpay him compared to coaches with similar winning percentages.

Why do I do this to myself? Year after year, I will get emotionally invested in a team, only to be let down. The first team I ever followed was San Francisco when I was 9-years old
and I watched them win the Superbowl. I lived in Washington state, what did I know? I just knew they won a big game and Joe Montana was clutch. Had the Cincinnati Bengals won that game, I probably would have thought the names Boomer and Ickey, but then I would have hated the next 20 years as a Bengals fan.

I guess I could have been like all the Chicago Bulls fans and jumped off the bandwagon once Michael Jordan retired.

After all this venting, I am almost done. The glass is almost empty. The light is on. I am this close to just getting away from sports and focusing solely on music. I dunno if Average Joe has it in him, but man, it sucks.